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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 576310" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>Sheila~ Yes, 12. Going on 35. And she knows <em>everything</em>.</p><p></p><p>I hope things calm down soon! This home is a bit of a fixer upper but has great potential. Sometimes I think it will never be organized, lol!</p><p></p><p>As for husband... he's been struggling mightily as a parent. He's ping pongs from way too soft to very, very harsh. I'm pretty consistent with being firm but I try to be loving and understanding too because she is, after all, another human being and deserves dignity and compassion as much as the rest of us. So I try to be fair and I support her interests and endeavors. As an example, her school orchestra will be taking a trip to see the local philharmonic orchestra perform next month. Her teacher asked myself and another parent to chaperon. While I didn't particularly care to ride a school bus for well over an hour that day, I will be there because the music program supports Duckie so I support the music program. husband even resents driving her to activities because "no one did it for me".</p><p></p><p>Last week, when she got hurt ice skating, we were planning on finishing a few things around the house and having a quiet and relaxing evening as she was to sleepover at a friend's house. And, of course, it fell through when we had to go to the hospital. He actually berated her for being so stupid as to get hurt! I sent him into the waiting room and told her that I think she understands why games like that shouldn't be played and that we are all lucky she wasn't more seriously hurt. She didn't need me to yell at her, natural consequences had taught the lesson far more effectively than I could.</p><p></p><p>And back when his mother died last June, she was playing hide and seek with her cousins in the dark behind my sister in law's pole barn. She fell and broke her wrist. She was hurt and devastated because she was supposed to play viola during her grandmother's funeral the next day. He was angry and nasty with her.</p><p></p><p>And he's been telling her she's stupid or a spaz when she drops or spills things.</p><p></p><p>It goes on.</p><p></p><p>So I asked my sister in law to speak with him as my intervening between them isn't having an effect on husband's nastiness. She's seen it to a lesser extent but is aware and will speak to him. She's his older sister and, due to their family dynamics, has been a huge influence on him. Hopefully it will start to change his attitude.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 576310, member: 1722"] Sheila~ Yes, 12. Going on 35. And she knows [I]everything[/I]. I hope things calm down soon! This home is a bit of a fixer upper but has great potential. Sometimes I think it will never be organized, lol! As for husband... he's been struggling mightily as a parent. He's ping pongs from way too soft to very, very harsh. I'm pretty consistent with being firm but I try to be loving and understanding too because she is, after all, another human being and deserves dignity and compassion as much as the rest of us. So I try to be fair and I support her interests and endeavors. As an example, her school orchestra will be taking a trip to see the local philharmonic orchestra perform next month. Her teacher asked myself and another parent to chaperon. While I didn't particularly care to ride a school bus for well over an hour that day, I will be there because the music program supports Duckie so I support the music program. husband even resents driving her to activities because "no one did it for me". Last week, when she got hurt ice skating, we were planning on finishing a few things around the house and having a quiet and relaxing evening as she was to sleepover at a friend's house. And, of course, it fell through when we had to go to the hospital. He actually berated her for being so stupid as to get hurt! I sent him into the waiting room and told her that I think she understands why games like that shouldn't be played and that we are all lucky she wasn't more seriously hurt. She didn't need me to yell at her, natural consequences had taught the lesson far more effectively than I could. And back when his mother died last June, she was playing hide and seek with her cousins in the dark behind my sister in law's pole barn. She fell and broke her wrist. She was hurt and devastated because she was supposed to play viola during her grandmother's funeral the next day. He was angry and nasty with her. And he's been telling her she's stupid or a spaz when she drops or spills things. It goes on. So I asked my sister in law to speak with him as my intervening between them isn't having an effect on husband's nastiness. She's seen it to a lesser extent but is aware and will speak to him. She's his older sister and, due to their family dynamics, has been a huge influence on him. Hopefully it will start to change his attitude. [/QUOTE]
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