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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 576327" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>TM,</p><p></p><p>First, many, many hugs... You've had to deal with way too much "garbage," "garbage" that you can't control, in way too short a period of time. I'm relieved Duckie is OK! That must have been beyond scary! I can't imagine moving in a snowstorm, then throwing out your back on top of it. Hope your back feels better soon! As far as the house itself, things will come together in time. The house we recently purchased needs some work too, but also has lots of potential. We've been here for about three months and while we can't do everything at once, we've settled in, have made a few minor improvements that have made a big difference to us, are enjoying our new home. Give it some time, I'm sure your new house is going to feel like "home" soon. It will be worth it!!</p><p></p><p>It rots that both you and husband have stressful jobs, stress caused by difficult child issues on top of that. It is definitely a recipe for fireworks. On top of that, your husband isn't able to parent effectively, maybe he has a few "difficult child" traits of his own - I don't know you or your husband well enough to understand why. However, for whatever reasons he isn't able to parent effectively, it doesn't matter. You are unfairly having to carry the load on your own while, at the same time, trying to minimize the negative impact he is having on Duckie.</p><p></p><p>The way your husband has been parenting Duckie reminds me of the way my mother parented me - Way too harsh at times, way too lenient at others, no consistency whatsoever. Not only did I not know which side of my mother to expect, making it necessary for me to learn to walk on eggshells from a very young age, but also her hurtful comments chipped away at my self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>You're a very intelligent, caring, loving mother. Over the years you've given me insight into parenting my own children. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your sister in law is able to get through to your husband...</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you... Hoping that today is a much better day... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 576327, member: 3388"] TM, First, many, many hugs... You've had to deal with way too much "garbage," "garbage" that you can't control, in way too short a period of time. I'm relieved Duckie is OK! That must have been beyond scary! I can't imagine moving in a snowstorm, then throwing out your back on top of it. Hope your back feels better soon! As far as the house itself, things will come together in time. The house we recently purchased needs some work too, but also has lots of potential. We've been here for about three months and while we can't do everything at once, we've settled in, have made a few minor improvements that have made a big difference to us, are enjoying our new home. Give it some time, I'm sure your new house is going to feel like "home" soon. It will be worth it!! It rots that both you and husband have stressful jobs, stress caused by difficult child issues on top of that. It is definitely a recipe for fireworks. On top of that, your husband isn't able to parent effectively, maybe he has a few "difficult child" traits of his own - I don't know you or your husband well enough to understand why. However, for whatever reasons he isn't able to parent effectively, it doesn't matter. You are unfairly having to carry the load on your own while, at the same time, trying to minimize the negative impact he is having on Duckie. The way your husband has been parenting Duckie reminds me of the way my mother parented me - Way too harsh at times, way too lenient at others, no consistency whatsoever. Not only did I not know which side of my mother to expect, making it necessary for me to learn to walk on eggshells from a very young age, but also her hurtful comments chipped away at my self-esteem. You're a very intelligent, caring, loving mother. Over the years you've given me insight into parenting my own children. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your sister in law is able to get through to your husband... Thinking of you... Hoping that today is a much better day... SFR [/QUOTE]
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