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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 695332" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>WSM,</p><p></p><p>I am so glad your trip went well, and I am glad for the wonderful memories, both for you and your son. Maybe those memories and those pictures (make sure he gets copies LOL) can help him along in terms of this is the kind of life he can expect if he stays on the right path. I would do some subtle hints, like, "I had such a wonderful time, and it was so great, etc. I really look forward to doing more things like that."</p><p></p><p>I get the girlfriend thing. No it isn't her fault, but, damn, they do gravitate towards really dysfunctional and enabling relationships, don't they? My sister is the same way. Back to baby daddy time after time, even though they both, clearly, feed off one another, in terms of their addictions. </p><p></p><p>I think low self esteem is common, and it's a vicious cycle. They use because they feel bad about themselves, they feel bad about themselves because they use.</p><p></p><p>My sister is a heroin addict. I know when she is strung out, not just because of her behavior, but her weight. When she is clean, mostly when she is in jail, honestly, she gains weight and is actually chubby. When she is strung out she is emaciated. </p><p></p><p>Is your son active in his recovery? Attending meetings? Has a sponsor? </p><p></p><p>They will preach, "people, places, and things" in that you must separate yourself from these things. If your son gets stronger and starts to feel better about himself as he stays sober she will ramp up the needy, guaranteed. He needs to be in a good place in his recovery to recognize that she could be his downfall. She may actively try to entice him to use because she is afraid of losing him.</p><p></p><p>Just try to bolster his self esteem. Praise the strides he has made. Keep reminding him how proud you are. Continue to let him know that as long as he makes the right choices that things like your trip are possible.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't engage the girlfriend at all, but I also wouldn't speak negatively of her, either. It's a really thin line to walk.</p><p></p><p>I am glad that your trip went well!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 695332, member: 20051"] WSM, I am so glad your trip went well, and I am glad for the wonderful memories, both for you and your son. Maybe those memories and those pictures (make sure he gets copies LOL) can help him along in terms of this is the kind of life he can expect if he stays on the right path. I would do some subtle hints, like, "I had such a wonderful time, and it was so great, etc. I really look forward to doing more things like that." I get the girlfriend thing. No it isn't her fault, but, damn, they do gravitate towards really dysfunctional and enabling relationships, don't they? My sister is the same way. Back to baby daddy time after time, even though they both, clearly, feed off one another, in terms of their addictions. I think low self esteem is common, and it's a vicious cycle. They use because they feel bad about themselves, they feel bad about themselves because they use. My sister is a heroin addict. I know when she is strung out, not just because of her behavior, but her weight. When she is clean, mostly when she is in jail, honestly, she gains weight and is actually chubby. When she is strung out she is emaciated. Is your son active in his recovery? Attending meetings? Has a sponsor? They will preach, "people, places, and things" in that you must separate yourself from these things. If your son gets stronger and starts to feel better about himself as he stays sober she will ramp up the needy, guaranteed. He needs to be in a good place in his recovery to recognize that she could be his downfall. She may actively try to entice him to use because she is afraid of losing him. Just try to bolster his self esteem. Praise the strides he has made. Keep reminding him how proud you are. Continue to let him know that as long as he makes the right choices that things like your trip are possible. I wouldn't engage the girlfriend at all, but I also wouldn't speak negatively of her, either. It's a really thin line to walk. I am glad that your trip went well! [/QUOTE]
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