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UPDATE! --The cost of funerals
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 90729" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It will be the same everywhere, but the costs of funerals are high and geared to making the best of the opportunity of dealing with people who are too busy grieving to deal with the money side of things.</p><p></p><p>We've had too many funerals over recent years. With my parents, they had made plans ahead of time but still didn't want a lot of money spent. My dad said he didn't want a headstone or plaque - nothing. We bought a rose bush and planted it at the church and scattered his ashes on the rose bush. My sister was sad there was no marker anywhere, but as he was a returned serviceman (WWII) he actually rated a plaque in the war memorial. That one was automatic. </p><p>Then when my mother died, the church had been sold and a new one was being built. But it was taking a long time. We had her cremated and waited. And waited. We had put the rose bush into a pot to replant it at the new church and to scatter mum's ashes there, but my brother got impatient and had her ashes interred at the crematorium with a plaque to both our parents. And he got the date wrong.</p><p></p><p>father in law had strong ties to Greece from WWII days. He had been a POW there and escaped, hiding out in the hills and living with villagers. He was recaptured but kept the villagers safe, getting back in touch after the war. He went back to visit them a number of times. When he died, he had already insisted on keeping costs down. husband bought a nice coffin but nothing special, the cheapest - since he was a returned serviceman, he had the right to have his coffin draped in the flag. And because he was of Scots heritage, he also had the family tartan on the coffin. With all that drapery, there was no need for anything special coffin-wise. He was cremated - they removed the flag and the tartan before the cremation, but another fragment of tartan which had been on some flowers did go through.</p><p>Then came time to decide what to do with HIS ashes. The basic unit they give the ashes to you, is in a plastic box. I remember my father's - the minister, who had been visiting him in his last days, was surprised at the weight in the box because my father had wasted away to a scrap. "He was a big man though," my brother said.</p><p>Back to father in law - husband & mother in law went shopping for urns, since she wanted to keep his ashes so hers could be mixed with them. We also have been asked to go back to Greece some time and take a handful of ashes there, if we can. So interring the ashes really wasn't an option. Besides, he had been horrified himself at the costs of his own mother's funeral - not that he stinted, more that he was unhappy at how usurious it seemed to be, especially when you are vulnerable.</p><p>So we were looking at urns for father in law and they were awful. And ridiculously expensive, for something in tacky white cement. Where would you put something so ghastly?</p><p>mother in law made a different decision. She went to an import shop, bought a lovely reproduction Greek vase (like an amphora) and a plate. This cost less than half the cheap white cement urn price. And it looked so much better.</p><p>We put his ashes in the vase, dropped in his wedding ring and wiped out the ashes box with another small scrap of tartan (which also went into the urn). mother in law said, "I made sure there was room for two." The plate went on top like a lid, and the whole thing sits tastefully on her sideboard. Only the family knows; visitors often remark on what a lovely Greek vase she has there.</p><p>husband has discussed with her, getting a simple pine box and totally covering it with family tartan. We will use the tartan for everyone, including for happy occasions too (a wall hanging then, like a large plaid; or a cloth cover, with a white table runner over it). The tartan isn't cheap but it's a lot cheaper than even the cheapest coffins; vastly cheaper than casket options.</p><p></p><p>My best friend's father died a few years ago; that was a full-on Greek orthodox funeral with all the trimmings. A burial as well. I'd never been to a burial before. They had a casket rather than a coffin, every frill was there. The family expected it. And they bought a twin plot, so her mother could be next to him when it's her turn (she requested this at the time).</p><p></p><p>Not sure if I could be happy with that, myself. I know what I'm getting - a plain pine box, with a tartan thrown over...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 90729, member: 1991"] It will be the same everywhere, but the costs of funerals are high and geared to making the best of the opportunity of dealing with people who are too busy grieving to deal with the money side of things. We've had too many funerals over recent years. With my parents, they had made plans ahead of time but still didn't want a lot of money spent. My dad said he didn't want a headstone or plaque - nothing. We bought a rose bush and planted it at the church and scattered his ashes on the rose bush. My sister was sad there was no marker anywhere, but as he was a returned serviceman (WWII) he actually rated a plaque in the war memorial. That one was automatic. Then when my mother died, the church had been sold and a new one was being built. But it was taking a long time. We had her cremated and waited. And waited. We had put the rose bush into a pot to replant it at the new church and to scatter mum's ashes there, but my brother got impatient and had her ashes interred at the crematorium with a plaque to both our parents. And he got the date wrong. father in law had strong ties to Greece from WWII days. He had been a POW there and escaped, hiding out in the hills and living with villagers. He was recaptured but kept the villagers safe, getting back in touch after the war. He went back to visit them a number of times. When he died, he had already insisted on keeping costs down. husband bought a nice coffin but nothing special, the cheapest - since he was a returned serviceman, he had the right to have his coffin draped in the flag. And because he was of Scots heritage, he also had the family tartan on the coffin. With all that drapery, there was no need for anything special coffin-wise. He was cremated - they removed the flag and the tartan before the cremation, but another fragment of tartan which had been on some flowers did go through. Then came time to decide what to do with HIS ashes. The basic unit they give the ashes to you, is in a plastic box. I remember my father's - the minister, who had been visiting him in his last days, was surprised at the weight in the box because my father had wasted away to a scrap. "He was a big man though," my brother said. Back to father in law - husband & mother in law went shopping for urns, since she wanted to keep his ashes so hers could be mixed with them. We also have been asked to go back to Greece some time and take a handful of ashes there, if we can. So interring the ashes really wasn't an option. Besides, he had been horrified himself at the costs of his own mother's funeral - not that he stinted, more that he was unhappy at how usurious it seemed to be, especially when you are vulnerable. So we were looking at urns for father in law and they were awful. And ridiculously expensive, for something in tacky white cement. Where would you put something so ghastly? mother in law made a different decision. She went to an import shop, bought a lovely reproduction Greek vase (like an amphora) and a plate. This cost less than half the cheap white cement urn price. And it looked so much better. We put his ashes in the vase, dropped in his wedding ring and wiped out the ashes box with another small scrap of tartan (which also went into the urn). mother in law said, "I made sure there was room for two." The plate went on top like a lid, and the whole thing sits tastefully on her sideboard. Only the family knows; visitors often remark on what a lovely Greek vase she has there. husband has discussed with her, getting a simple pine box and totally covering it with family tartan. We will use the tartan for everyone, including for happy occasions too (a wall hanging then, like a large plaid; or a cloth cover, with a white table runner over it). The tartan isn't cheap but it's a lot cheaper than even the cheapest coffins; vastly cheaper than casket options. My best friend's father died a few years ago; that was a full-on Greek orthodox funeral with all the trimmings. A burial as well. I'd never been to a burial before. They had a casket rather than a coffin, every frill was there. The family expected it. And they bought a twin plot, so her mother could be next to him when it's her turn (she requested this at the time). Not sure if I could be happy with that, myself. I know what I'm getting - a plain pine box, with a tartan thrown over... Marg [/QUOTE]
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