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Update: The waters of de Nile are calm.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 655234" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>[USER=18238]@Jabberwockey[/USER] , I can relate to your feelings. I went through it so many times with my son. For almost a year my son had me completly buffaloed, he was doing everthing right which led me to think he was really trying to change but he couldn't keep up the charade, his old behavior kept coming to the surface. He later told me that he was only doing "the right thing" because he knew that's what I wanted to see and he knew that if he appeared to be "trying" that I would help him. So I totally get when you say he hasn't done enough to improve his life for you to believe.</p><p>I don't know if my son will ever be able to "prove" to me that he's making changes that I feel he should. The operative word "I". I have wrestled with it over the years and thought things like, he will need to be in a steady job for 3 years then I might start believing that he's changing. What I had to come to accept is that it's his life and if he wants to live off the grid and be homeless, couch surfing, free spirit, etc.... then so be it.</p><p>I had to give up my ideas of what "I" thought his life should be and what he should be doing to make that happen.</p><p>I will always carry hope in my heart that someday...................and if that someday never comes it's ok, it is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 655234, member: 18516"] [USER=18238]@Jabberwockey[/USER] , I can relate to your feelings. I went through it so many times with my son. For almost a year my son had me completly buffaloed, he was doing everthing right which led me to think he was really trying to change but he couldn't keep up the charade, his old behavior kept coming to the surface. He later told me that he was only doing "the right thing" because he knew that's what I wanted to see and he knew that if he appeared to be "trying" that I would help him. So I totally get when you say he hasn't done enough to improve his life for you to believe. I don't know if my son will ever be able to "prove" to me that he's making changes that I feel he should. The operative word "I". I have wrestled with it over the years and thought things like, he will need to be in a steady job for 3 years then I might start believing that he's changing. What I had to come to accept is that it's his life and if he wants to live off the grid and be homeless, couch surfing, free spirit, etc.... then so be it. I had to give up my ideas of what "I" thought his life should be and what he should be doing to make that happen. I will always carry hope in my heart that someday...................and if that someday never comes it's ok, it is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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Update: The waters of de Nile are calm.
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