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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 86357" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...Your wife is still hoping your son is her dream child. He's not. He's his own person with special problems.</div></div></p><p>MWM, I have to disagree with you there. I don't think wife has any illusions about McWeedy's so-called life, or his dubious ability to manage it. She's well aware of all the problems and pitfalls. It's more about fear, control, and letting go for her.</p><p></p><p>She doesn't think that the next JFK will suddently emerge from him like a butterfly from a chrysalis. I think it's more likely that she still won't admit that he's an addict, and that this is just a "phase", and she wants to keep him safe until he "grows out of it".</p><p></p><p>He IS an addict, so says his psychiatric from the drug study. And he won't just "grow out of it". Even if he weren't drugging, he'd still be a difficult child because <strong>all</strong> the men in my family are difficult child's to some degree. And as a general rule, we don't mature until sometime after our 30th birthday. That said, the drugging only guarantees that his maturation process will be retarded, if not outright stunted.</p><p></p><p>I'm a big SciFi fan, and Isaac Asimov wrote a series of books about robots and the "Three Laws of Robotics" that governed robot behavior, that went something like this:</p><p></p><p>1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. </p><p>2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. </p><p>3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. </p><p></p><p>However, it was later revealed that the robots themselves had envisioned a "zeroth" law that came before the first law, that said "a robot must not merely act in the interests of individual humans, but of all humanity." In such a case, a robot could then allow a human to be harmed, as long as the greater good of humananity was served.</p><p></p><p>What does this have to do with drugging teens? The first step of NarAnon is to admit that you are powerless to control the addict. There are an additional 11 steps to the program. However, I too think there is a "zeroth" step that precedes the first step. Before you can admit you're powerless to contol an addict, <em>you must first acknowledge and accept that your loved one actually <strong>is</strong> an addict.</em></p><p></p><p>And that's where my beloved wife, and so many others I've spoken to, fall down. It's why my first shot at NarAnon didn't work. If you're not willing to believe that your son is an addict, how can you acknowledge that you have no control over his addiction?</p><p></p><p>Okay, I'm way off the beaten path, but it's how I feel. I had to get to the point where I truly believe McWeedy was an addict before I could take the next step. And so will wife, eventually (Hopefully?).</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 86357, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...Your wife is still hoping your son is her dream child. He's not. He's his own person with special problems.</div></div> MWM, I have to disagree with you there. I don't think wife has any illusions about McWeedy's so-called life, or his dubious ability to manage it. She's well aware of all the problems and pitfalls. It's more about fear, control, and letting go for her. She doesn't think that the next JFK will suddently emerge from him like a butterfly from a chrysalis. I think it's more likely that she still won't admit that he's an addict, and that this is just a "phase", and she wants to keep him safe until he "grows out of it". He IS an addict, so says his psychiatric from the drug study. And he won't just "grow out of it". Even if he weren't drugging, he'd still be a difficult child because [b]all[/b] the men in my family are difficult child's to some degree. And as a general rule, we don't mature until sometime after our 30th birthday. That said, the drugging only guarantees that his maturation process will be retarded, if not outright stunted. I'm a big SciFi fan, and Isaac Asimov wrote a series of books about robots and the "Three Laws of Robotics" that governed robot behavior, that went something like this: 1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. However, it was later revealed that the robots themselves had envisioned a "zeroth" law that came before the first law, that said "a robot must not merely act in the interests of individual humans, but of all humanity." In such a case, a robot could then allow a human to be harmed, as long as the greater good of humananity was served. What does this have to do with drugging teens? The first step of NarAnon is to admit that you are powerless to control the addict. There are an additional 11 steps to the program. However, I too think there is a "zeroth" step that precedes the first step. Before you can admit you're powerless to contol an addict, [i]you must first acknowledge and accept that your loved one actually [b]is[/b] an addict.[/i] And that's where my beloved wife, and so many others I've spoken to, fall down. It's why my first shot at NarAnon didn't work. If you're not willing to believe that your son is an addict, how can you acknowledge that you have no control over his addiction? Okay, I'm way off the beaten path, but it's how I feel. I had to get to the point where I truly believe McWeedy was an addict before I could take the next step. And so will wife, eventually (Hopefully?). Mikey [/QUOTE]
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