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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 615254" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Top of the mornin' to you too Cedar.........</p><p></p><p>I am glad to hear husband is picking up too. I had such a strong visual of his smiling face above the cannoli and the angry face above the Grouper...............it was so real............our kids bring out so many emotions.............sigh............</p><p></p><p>You may recall quite a number of our kids going no contact. For me with my daughter, it lasted a few months...............I do believe that once they are clear that none of their many manipulations and horror stories work.............they need their own time to regroup. She may surface with a new and improved version of a high intensity drama so she can use it to make you feel responsible again............or she may really stay away while she attends to her fractured life. The most important thing I think, is that you and husband stay strong and keep seeing the truth.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter needs help to recover it really should be under completely different circumstances in which you don't supply any money while she is out there on the streets, but only if she is in a program or has in some MAJOR way made you deeply understand that she has changed and needs help to get back on her feet. Not help to continue being on the streets. You said she was going to go to a shelter up north, she could still be doing that, correct? She is probably so angry at you and husband that she will be stomping around for awhile. Good. Let her. I don't think either of your kids should come to your home unless they are in a completely different head space and you and husband are strong enough to keep up the detachment. Let's face it, adults of their ages usually don't want to live with their parents, so hopefully, they will <strong>grow up</strong> and WANT to be on their own.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, you are so welcome. Being a part of your story has been very healing for me. It gives all of the suffering... meaning................if I can make some difference in your journey, then mine has meaning, it wasn't just me suffering...............</p><p></p><p>..............and, it connects us here.............all of us parents who are struggling, in such pain about our kids choices..........we find solace and compassion and the strength to go on............it's like SO's stories about being in Germany during the Vietnam War, how all those guys, 21 years old, away from home, joined in a unique circumstance...........those guys still communicate on FB, almost 50 years later................they shared a connection which bonded them forever............this stuff here is a human experience that is unique ............and we find, thank goodness........... that we are <strong>not alone</strong>..........and there is so much power and strength in that..............</p><p></p><p>.........so thank you Cedar, for including me and the rest of us on your journey.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 615254, member: 13542"] Top of the mornin' to you too Cedar......... I am glad to hear husband is picking up too. I had such a strong visual of his smiling face above the cannoli and the angry face above the Grouper...............it was so real............our kids bring out so many emotions.............sigh............ You may recall quite a number of our kids going no contact. For me with my daughter, it lasted a few months...............I do believe that once they are clear that none of their many manipulations and horror stories work.............they need their own time to regroup. She may surface with a new and improved version of a high intensity drama so she can use it to make you feel responsible again............or she may really stay away while she attends to her fractured life. The most important thing I think, is that you and husband stay strong and keep seeing the truth. If your daughter needs help to recover it really should be under completely different circumstances in which you don't supply any money while she is out there on the streets, but only if she is in a program or has in some MAJOR way made you deeply understand that she has changed and needs help to get back on her feet. Not help to continue being on the streets. You said she was going to go to a shelter up north, she could still be doing that, correct? She is probably so angry at you and husband that she will be stomping around for awhile. Good. Let her. I don't think either of your kids should come to your home unless they are in a completely different head space and you and husband are strong enough to keep up the detachment. Let's face it, adults of their ages usually don't want to live with their parents, so hopefully, they will [B]grow up[/B] and WANT to be on their own. Cedar, you are so welcome. Being a part of your story has been very healing for me. It gives all of the suffering... meaning................if I can make some difference in your journey, then mine has meaning, it wasn't just me suffering............... ..............and, it connects us here.............all of us parents who are struggling, in such pain about our kids choices..........we find solace and compassion and the strength to go on............it's like SO's stories about being in Germany during the Vietnam War, how all those guys, 21 years old, away from home, joined in a unique circumstance...........those guys still communicate on FB, almost 50 years later................they shared a connection which bonded them forever............this stuff here is a human experience that is unique ............and we find, thank goodness........... that we are [B]not alone[/B]..........and there is so much power and strength in that.............. .........so thank you Cedar, for including me and the rest of us on your journey......... [/QUOTE]
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