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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 685800" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>A quick update:</p><p></p><p>Son has been back from his "tropical vacation" for about a month. He has not asked us for any help, other than a ride from the airport to his friend's house. He looked good when we picked him up.</p><p></p><p>He got a job at a day labor sort of place and pooled his money with a few friends to buy a van, with the goal of seeing some sights out west. There is only 1 friend and our son who are still in on the plan, but the two did save up enough money to pay for food and gas to a job waiting for them a few states over.</p><p></p><p>He stopped by about 2 weeks ago, very drunk and disheveled, picking arguments. NOT driving the van, thank goodness. He said he just wanted to pick up some old sports equipment he had in storage, so he could sell it for his trip. We figured he was probably selling it for alcohol.</p><p></p><p>A few days later he texted to apologize and said he shouldn't have shown up like that. He told us he was leaving for his trip in a few days and wanted to stop by and see us before he left. </p><p></p><p>When he and his friend stopped by last week he looked really good -- clean with clean clothes, sober, eyes bright once again. Van packed and ready to go.</p><p></p><p>As he was leaving, he gave us both hugs and said, "I'm really gonna miss you. I'm sorry for all the drama I've caused you."</p><p></p><p>I didn't know what to say (despite having imagined this sentence in my head roughly 6 billion times) and knew I was going to make a big ol' bawling mess of things, so I just gave him another hug and told him maybe we could come see him once he found a place to stay for awhile. He said he'd really like that. Then we handed him a card with a little money inside and he left. THEN I turned into a big ol' bawling mess.</p><p></p><p>The last we heard he and his friend made it to the first destination and are hoping to work and save a little money and move on.</p><p></p><p>It's hard not to put "stuff" onto any thoughts I have about this, good or bad. It's hard not to try to make this a permanent thing in my mind. I want to just accept it as what it is, accept today for what it is. Just have no expectations.</p><p></p><p>But it was SO good to see him that way. I am going to at least have that be who he "is" in my mind and my memory until I see him again.</p><p></p><p>I am very happy that he is off on an adventure. He is happiest when he is on the road. And I am happiest too (and feel certain he is as well) when there is some physical distance in our relationship. We get along much better that way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 685800, member: 17720"] A quick update: Son has been back from his "tropical vacation" for about a month. He has not asked us for any help, other than a ride from the airport to his friend's house. He looked good when we picked him up. He got a job at a day labor sort of place and pooled his money with a few friends to buy a van, with the goal of seeing some sights out west. There is only 1 friend and our son who are still in on the plan, but the two did save up enough money to pay for food and gas to a job waiting for them a few states over. He stopped by about 2 weeks ago, very drunk and disheveled, picking arguments. NOT driving the van, thank goodness. He said he just wanted to pick up some old sports equipment he had in storage, so he could sell it for his trip. We figured he was probably selling it for alcohol. A few days later he texted to apologize and said he shouldn't have shown up like that. He told us he was leaving for his trip in a few days and wanted to stop by and see us before he left. When he and his friend stopped by last week he looked really good -- clean with clean clothes, sober, eyes bright once again. Van packed and ready to go. As he was leaving, he gave us both hugs and said, "I'm really gonna miss you. I'm sorry for all the drama I've caused you." I didn't know what to say (despite having imagined this sentence in my head roughly 6 billion times) and knew I was going to make a big ol' bawling mess of things, so I just gave him another hug and told him maybe we could come see him once he found a place to stay for awhile. He said he'd really like that. Then we handed him a card with a little money inside and he left. THEN I turned into a big ol' bawling mess. The last we heard he and his friend made it to the first destination and are hoping to work and save a little money and move on. It's hard not to put "stuff" onto any thoughts I have about this, good or bad. It's hard not to try to make this a permanent thing in my mind. I want to just accept it as what it is, accept today for what it is. Just have no expectations. But it was SO good to see him that way. I am going to at least have that be who he "is" in my mind and my memory until I see him again. I am very happy that he is off on an adventure. He is happiest when he is on the road. And I am happiest too (and feel certain he is as well) when there is some physical distance in our relationship. We get along much better that way. [/QUOTE]
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