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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 743056" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>Oh my, I didn't mean to suggest that our kids are our friends or even like friends. What I meant to say is that the only way to have a relationship with our kids is to treat them like we would a friend. That is, not like our children. There are boundaries in friendships. If a friend doesn't want to talk about something we drop it. If a friend made a mistake we don't judge or even mention it again. This may not help anyone else. But it helps me. It helps me put boundaries on what I talk about with my kids, on what I say to them. </p><p></p><p>If my kids or friends share I listen. If not, fine. I agree that if a friend doesn't share there's not much friendship. Maybe a kid will never share. With my oldest I found that this approach did keep communication open. Not on all topics for sure. There were distinct topics that were off limits. But then, sometimes that happens with friends too. All I'm saying is that using this as a guideline has helped me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 743056, member: 23371"] Oh my, I didn't mean to suggest that our kids are our friends or even like friends. What I meant to say is that the only way to have a relationship with our kids is to treat them like we would a friend. That is, not like our children. There are boundaries in friendships. If a friend doesn't want to talk about something we drop it. If a friend made a mistake we don't judge or even mention it again. This may not help anyone else. But it helps me. It helps me put boundaries on what I talk about with my kids, on what I say to them. If my kids or friends share I listen. If not, fine. I agree that if a friend doesn't share there's not much friendship. Maybe a kid will never share. With my oldest I found that this approach did keep communication open. Not on all topics for sure. There were distinct topics that were off limits. But then, sometimes that happens with friends too. All I'm saying is that using this as a guideline has helped me. [/QUOTE]
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