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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758389" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Trying. Why not seek out an online Al Anon meeting? These are completely normal and reasonable wants. You have no reason to feel guilt. It's not your fault, although your son's MO might be to place responsibility into you. He's wrong on so many levels. But that doesn't help that I say it. You've got to accept that it is not your fault, and that you deserve a good life, no matter what he chooses for himself.</p><p>He is a grown man who is making his own choices about his life, which is his right to do. If you look for rationality from him you won't find it. Addiction is not a rational mindset. By definition it's the opposite of reasonable and logical. I would urge you to begin to think about yourself, and to set a limit, so that he can't continue to abuse you. Yes. This is abuse. He is trying to drag you down, to tear you down. If he can do that, he can control you. Misery loves company. Refuse to be part of his pity party any longer. If you can't stop, then you need to learn how to stop. Al Anon will help you. </p><p></p><p>Trying. From this observer's point of view you are a willing participant in all of this. You can stop. You can tell him this:<em> I will limit these calls to Sundays between 12 noon and 2pm. If you choose to call, you can do so then.</em> You don't need to explain yourself or to justify yourself. Actually, if you will try, this will only give him incentive and means to hurt you more. </p><p></p><p>With this kind of limit, you can begin the healing process for you. Trying. You are addicted to the drama of your son. You need to recover. It's time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758389, member: 18958"] Trying. Why not seek out an online Al Anon meeting? These are completely normal and reasonable wants. You have no reason to feel guilt. It's not your fault, although your son's MO might be to place responsibility into you. He's wrong on so many levels. But that doesn't help that I say it. You've got to accept that it is not your fault, and that you deserve a good life, no matter what he chooses for himself. He is a grown man who is making his own choices about his life, which is his right to do. If you look for rationality from him you won't find it. Addiction is not a rational mindset. By definition it's the opposite of reasonable and logical. I would urge you to begin to think about yourself, and to set a limit, so that he can't continue to abuse you. Yes. This is abuse. He is trying to drag you down, to tear you down. If he can do that, he can control you. Misery loves company. Refuse to be part of his pity party any longer. If you can't stop, then you need to learn how to stop. Al Anon will help you. Trying. From this observer's point of view you are a willing participant in all of this. You can stop. You can tell him this:[I] I will limit these calls to Sundays between 12 noon and 2pm. If you choose to call, you can do so then.[/I] You don't need to explain yourself or to justify yourself. Actually, if you will try, this will only give him incentive and means to hurt you more. With this kind of limit, you can begin the healing process for you. Trying. You are addicted to the drama of your son. You need to recover. It's time. [/QUOTE]
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