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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758456" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Trying</p><p></p><p>I would be very cautious about visiting. I would be cautious so as to not be hurt yourself, and so as to not hurt your son. Your son has left more than one treatment facility. He has been quite manipulative. He has shown a propensity to blame you and to externalize responsibility. He puts you under a great deal of pressure, to do things for him, that hurt him and you. He flip flops.</p><p></p><p>The thing he needs most now is to find his inner guidance. To get in touch with who he is, and become accountable to himself and to others. Anything or anyone that comes into his zone aside from the people in treatment and the program staff, can distract him and destabilize him from his one and only important goal now, which is sobriety and recovery.</p><p></p><p>He knows you support him. You have stood by him every step of the way. I would ask you to think about what you already know about how he has handled treatment. I would ask you to think about how you have felt all of the other times when he has acted out. I would ask you to think about what could be gained by visiting. And what is it stake. What could be at risk.</p><p></p><p>I think he would need a whole lot of time under his belt before I thought about a visit. I think 6 months. This would be a vote of confidence in him. That he can man up and that he will. He is not a baby. He is a grown man. Let him handle this like an adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758456, member: 18958"] Dear Trying I would be very cautious about visiting. I would be cautious so as to not be hurt yourself, and so as to not hurt your son. Your son has left more than one treatment facility. He has been quite manipulative. He has shown a propensity to blame you and to externalize responsibility. He puts you under a great deal of pressure, to do things for him, that hurt him and you. He flip flops. The thing he needs most now is to find his inner guidance. To get in touch with who he is, and become accountable to himself and to others. Anything or anyone that comes into his zone aside from the people in treatment and the program staff, can distract him and destabilize him from his one and only important goal now, which is sobriety and recovery. He knows you support him. You have stood by him every step of the way. I would ask you to think about what you already know about how he has handled treatment. I would ask you to think about how you have felt all of the other times when he has acted out. I would ask you to think about what could be gained by visiting. And what is it stake. What could be at risk. I think he would need a whole lot of time under his belt before I thought about a visit. I think 6 months. This would be a vote of confidence in him. That he can man up and that he will. He is not a baby. He is a grown man. Let him handle this like an adult. [/QUOTE]
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