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<blockquote data-quote="tryingtobestrong" data-source="post: 758505" data-attributes="member: 22817"><p>Latest news.. he called 2 nights ago and was talking about how he regrets not taking his life 2 years ago when he had the means right in front of him. He said how he hates his life, etc. Wants to die. 2 hours later called back and seemed to be in a better state of mind.</p><p>Then last night I went to Alanon - honestly to miss his calls because my husband was at work.... Came home to 2 missed calls on the landline, 2 on my cell and my daughter said she had 2 missed calls but she didn't recognize the number so never answered. </p><p>He called then and was horrible. Told us he is giving us fair warning that he is in the darkest place ever in his mind and this won't end well. He said the guilt and shame is just too much. I did reach out to his counselor and left her know his mental state is not good.</p><p>She told me he is a flight risk and they keep trying to talk him into staying. We know if he leaves that we are 99% sure he will take his own life.</p><p>My heart aches for the pain he is in. I wonder if the years of alcohol/marijuana abuse and constant hitting of his head did something to his brain that the mental illness is now greater than the addiction - if that makes sense? To be this tormented is excrutiating. My mom says she understands if he takes his life just to escape this pain he is in. In my heart, I feel it will happen. </p><p></p><p>We tell him it will get better- one day at a time. Work the steps and pray-- He said he tried praying and nothing happens. I told him that I pray for him all the time and his reply was "Yeh, and see where it got me? I am still dealing with this so prayers don't work." Hard to have a response to that. </p><p></p><p>I hope he can rise from this and start feeling better about himself and his future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryingtobestrong, post: 758505, member: 22817"] Latest news.. he called 2 nights ago and was talking about how he regrets not taking his life 2 years ago when he had the means right in front of him. He said how he hates his life, etc. Wants to die. 2 hours later called back and seemed to be in a better state of mind. Then last night I went to Alanon - honestly to miss his calls because my husband was at work.... Came home to 2 missed calls on the landline, 2 on my cell and my daughter said she had 2 missed calls but she didn't recognize the number so never answered. He called then and was horrible. Told us he is giving us fair warning that he is in the darkest place ever in his mind and this won't end well. He said the guilt and shame is just too much. I did reach out to his counselor and left her know his mental state is not good. She told me he is a flight risk and they keep trying to talk him into staying. We know if he leaves that we are 99% sure he will take his own life. My heart aches for the pain he is in. I wonder if the years of alcohol/marijuana abuse and constant hitting of his head did something to his brain that the mental illness is now greater than the addiction - if that makes sense? To be this tormented is excrutiating. My mom says she understands if he takes his life just to escape this pain he is in. In my heart, I feel it will happen. We tell him it will get better- one day at a time. Work the steps and pray-- He said he tried praying and nothing happens. I told him that I pray for him all the time and his reply was "Yeh, and see where it got me? I am still dealing with this so prayers don't work." Hard to have a response to that. I hope he can rise from this and start feeling better about himself and his future. [/QUOTE]
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