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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758506" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>trying. You don't help yourself or him by thinking and talking this way.</p><p></p><p>He goes to this suicidal talk as a way to put into words his pain, helplessness, and desperation. This is also a pity party. To get you to hold the feelings. And to justify drinking. While people do in fact kill themselves, he has been killling himself slowly through his addictions. In this sense, to speak of killing hmself, is a reality. It is a truth. He is telling the truth. But that does not mean he will commit suicide by an overt and deliberate act.</p><p></p><p>I guess I don't understand why you are submitting to this reality of suicide that does not exist. I don't understand how this helps him or you. I think you need to take control of this so that you are not controlled by his hopelessness and cruelty. If you are carried there, how is your son helped?</p><p></p><p>There is so much hope, but not in the place his addictions are carrying this, pushing this. I don't agree with you about the mental illness. While I don't know him and have not ever met or spoken to him, obviously, I have met many, many people like him. The natural consequence of imbibing these quantities of toxics is a toxic brain. This is not the same as mental illness. While he may receive diagnoses of mental illness, which may have been "caused" by substance abuse and dependence, these can be reversed, by abstinence and recovery. Your recovery, and his, rest on that. Again, you are not helped by the focus on his death that might come by his own hand. It's already at hand. By his drinking.</p><p></p><p>Abstinence and recovery are hope. They are your hope and they are his hope. Your abstinnce and recovery come from disengaging from your addiciton on this drama with him. The longer you stay engaged with him in addiction, the more that you will feel helpless and hopeless, too. By buying into this inevitability of suicide you are buying into the problem, to the addiction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758506, member: 18958"] trying. You don't help yourself or him by thinking and talking this way. He goes to this suicidal talk as a way to put into words his pain, helplessness, and desperation. This is also a pity party. To get you to hold the feelings. And to justify drinking. While people do in fact kill themselves, he has been killling himself slowly through his addictions. In this sense, to speak of killing hmself, is a reality. It is a truth. He is telling the truth. But that does not mean he will commit suicide by an overt and deliberate act. I guess I don't understand why you are submitting to this reality of suicide that does not exist. I don't understand how this helps him or you. I think you need to take control of this so that you are not controlled by his hopelessness and cruelty. If you are carried there, how is your son helped? There is so much hope, but not in the place his addictions are carrying this, pushing this. I don't agree with you about the mental illness. While I don't know him and have not ever met or spoken to him, obviously, I have met many, many people like him. The natural consequence of imbibing these quantities of toxics is a toxic brain. This is not the same as mental illness. While he may receive diagnoses of mental illness, which may have been "caused" by substance abuse and dependence, these can be reversed, by abstinence and recovery. Your recovery, and his, rest on that. Again, you are not helped by the focus on his death that might come by his own hand. It's already at hand. By his drinking. Abstinence and recovery are hope. They are your hope and they are his hope. Your abstinnce and recovery come from disengaging from your addiciton on this drama with him. The longer you stay engaged with him in addiction, the more that you will feel helpless and hopeless, too. By buying into this inevitability of suicide you are buying into the problem, to the addiction. [/QUOTE]
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