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Upsetting phone call from 34yo Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 660492" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Seeking, I have been away from P.E. and missed your update. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So you know he has someone. </p><p></p><p>That is such good information to know.</p><p></p><p>It could be that the friend has been faced with the decision of helping D C, or turning him away. The story now will be: You two are the villain. I am sorry this is happening where you live, near your neighbors and your church and your work. That's okay, Seeking. You have been through worse with this child. If he comes through this and straightens up, you will have your son back. If he doesn't come through this, you will not want him back.</p><p></p><p>There are programs out there to help him.</p><p></p><p>So, it is good to stay the course.</p><p></p><p>It's possible that the friend will be able to set believable boundaries </p><p>D C understands and will abide by. This will give D C that slim chance at recovering his life.</p><p></p><p>It helped me to remember that what I had already done hadn't worked. Doing those same things a second, third, or fourth time was not going to help. It is a very, very hard thing to say "NO". </p><p></p><p>It is harder still to stick with "NO".</p><p></p><p>But I think that is the only way the kids seem able to stand up.</p><p></p><p>There comes a desperate, nightmarish edge when that is all we know. </p><p></p><p>D H and I have come back from that place with both kids. There is much hurt and puzzlement from daughter, and ~ I don't know. A kind of contemptuous resentment, from our son. Like you and your D H too Seeking <em>those feelings from our children are part of the fallout of addiction.</em> <em>Things have happened to them we cannot imagine, and turned them hard and bitter.</em> Our children are in bad trouble. If helping worked, they would never have found themselves where they are.</p><p></p><p>It is very hard to remember this.</p><p></p><p>Nothing about what you are doing is easy.</p><p></p><p>We are right here.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 660492, member: 17461"] Seeking, I have been away from P.E. and missed your update. So you know he has someone. That is such good information to know. It could be that the friend has been faced with the decision of helping D C, or turning him away. The story now will be: You two are the villain. I am sorry this is happening where you live, near your neighbors and your church and your work. That's okay, Seeking. You have been through worse with this child. If he comes through this and straightens up, you will have your son back. If he doesn't come through this, you will not want him back. There are programs out there to help him. So, it is good to stay the course. It's possible that the friend will be able to set believable boundaries D C understands and will abide by. This will give D C that slim chance at recovering his life. It helped me to remember that what I had already done hadn't worked. Doing those same things a second, third, or fourth time was not going to help. It is a very, very hard thing to say "NO". It is harder still to stick with "NO". But I think that is the only way the kids seem able to stand up. There comes a desperate, nightmarish edge when that is all we know. D H and I have come back from that place with both kids. There is much hurt and puzzlement from daughter, and ~ I don't know. A kind of contemptuous resentment, from our son. Like you and your D H too Seeking [I]those feelings from our children are part of the fallout of addiction.[/I] [I]Things have happened to them we cannot imagine, and turned them hard and bitter.[/I] Our children are in bad trouble. If helping worked, they would never have found themselves where they are. It is very hard to remember this. Nothing about what you are doing is easy. We are right here. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Upsetting phone call from 34yo Difficult Child
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