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Urgent—32 year old bipolar daughter pregnant and may be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756205" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Even more if she's not capable, she needs to have a support network and advocates, whether through mental health, a church, AA or NA, or some kind of community. </p><p></p><p>This feels triggering to me, because when I stopped helping my son for a long time all he did was fall. Fall and fall and fall. I didn't know how far he would fall. Would he end up on the street with matted hair, pushing a stroller heaped with garbage and junk, with crazed eyes, intermittently sleeping on the curb? Is this what I had to fear after my death? That he would have nothing and nobody, just like garbage on the street? </p><p></p><p>The thing is we have no control. I tried to have control. And what happened was my son pulled me down to his level. Filth everywhere. Cockroaches. Always high. He keeps clubs to defend himself. </p><p></p><p>My point is this: My help didn't help. Me or him. </p><p></p><p>It has to be faced that one possibility is that they won't help themselves. They will fall. And fall. If they won't turn to support services, then this is what could happen. But I don't believe it will. I think your daughter (and my son) are manipulating us. They're playing chicken. They're daring us. They wait until the very last minute, and then guess what happens? They save themselves. Maybe not like we want, but they do it the way they can.</p><p></p><p>She's mad because she wants help the way she wants it. She wants to be fed with a spoon, with the exact foods she craves. But this is the life of a baby, not an adult woman. Let her throw fits. But away from you. </p><p></p><p>This is a lesson anybody can learn. We need to accept life on life's terms, not on our own. The only way your daughter will learn is on her own.</p><p></p><p>You're doing great.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756205, member: 18958"] Even more if she's not capable, she needs to have a support network and advocates, whether through mental health, a church, AA or NA, or some kind of community. This feels triggering to me, because when I stopped helping my son for a long time all he did was fall. Fall and fall and fall. I didn't know how far he would fall. Would he end up on the street with matted hair, pushing a stroller heaped with garbage and junk, with crazed eyes, intermittently sleeping on the curb? Is this what I had to fear after my death? That he would have nothing and nobody, just like garbage on the street? The thing is we have no control. I tried to have control. And what happened was my son pulled me down to his level. Filth everywhere. Cockroaches. Always high. He keeps clubs to defend himself. My point is this: My help didn't help. Me or him. It has to be faced that one possibility is that they won't help themselves. They will fall. And fall. If they won't turn to support services, then this is what could happen. But I don't believe it will. I think your daughter (and my son) are manipulating us. They're playing chicken. They're daring us. They wait until the very last minute, and then guess what happens? They save themselves. Maybe not like we want, but they do it the way they can. She's mad because she wants help the way she wants it. She wants to be fed with a spoon, with the exact foods she craves. But this is the life of a baby, not an adult woman. Let her throw fits. But away from you. This is a lesson anybody can learn. We need to accept life on life's terms, not on our own. The only way your daughter will learn is on her own. You're doing great. [/QUOTE]
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Urgent—32 year old bipolar daughter pregnant and may be homeless
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