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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 182689" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Hi All,</p><p>Witz, the girl just turned 16 so she has 2 more years with parents. Also, she has mentioned abuse to my dtr for several years (I just didn't know). I would love to run like the wind but I actually think there is probably at least some truth to her story. My husband and I have been made very uncomfortable at times because of the extreme yelling over there. I mean I can yell when I lose it but for awhile it seemed that every day we heard one or other of the parents yelling at the kids and it was for very insignificant stuff from our point of view. I know at those times I wondered if I should be reporting them but wasn't sure what to do.</p><p></p><p>So, here is what we've decided to do. M will probably come over here tonight and my husband and I will talk to her and see if she wants us to make an anonymous call. I will also see if there is any other adult she could tell. School doesn't start til after Labor Day so that is a long time from now.</p><p></p><p>They seem very isolated over there--never see anyone visiting them, they keep to themselves (of course I think you could say that about me too). I don't know, my gut just says something is not right and I think the parents are part of the problem. I wonder if they had no clue what they were in for when they adopted the two girls--M was 5--apparently she was taken from her mother and stepfather (dad to the other girl) because stepfather was beating her. I'm sure these 2 girls came to them with many problems, maybe too many to handle it if they weren't prepared. I don't know, just a theory....</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my dtr was just invited today to go to Vermont to see her best friend for several days so she will be leaving town on Monday. What good timing for her--she has been really upset by all this and feels responsible--like she should be doing something. Her therapist is working with her on processing memories--she is supposed to be focusing on therapy, not on another girl who has problems. I will be talking to him about this. He has said over and over to me that she needs to feel safe and stable in order to do the work of therapy. With her older sister gone we have been able to provide that, she doesn't need this.</p><p></p><p>Thanks so much for all the replies--please feel free to send more advice. I am reading them all and you all have excellent points--no one right answer for sure! Also, my other dtr was good at making others feel sorry for her--like she had parents who didn't care so I am very aware of that as a possibility!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 182689, member: 3208"] Hi All, Witz, the girl just turned 16 so she has 2 more years with parents. Also, she has mentioned abuse to my dtr for several years (I just didn't know). I would love to run like the wind but I actually think there is probably at least some truth to her story. My husband and I have been made very uncomfortable at times because of the extreme yelling over there. I mean I can yell when I lose it but for awhile it seemed that every day we heard one or other of the parents yelling at the kids and it was for very insignificant stuff from our point of view. I know at those times I wondered if I should be reporting them but wasn't sure what to do. So, here is what we've decided to do. M will probably come over here tonight and my husband and I will talk to her and see if she wants us to make an anonymous call. I will also see if there is any other adult she could tell. School doesn't start til after Labor Day so that is a long time from now. They seem very isolated over there--never see anyone visiting them, they keep to themselves (of course I think you could say that about me too). I don't know, my gut just says something is not right and I think the parents are part of the problem. I wonder if they had no clue what they were in for when they adopted the two girls--M was 5--apparently she was taken from her mother and stepfather (dad to the other girl) because stepfather was beating her. I'm sure these 2 girls came to them with many problems, maybe too many to handle it if they weren't prepared. I don't know, just a theory.... Anyway, my dtr was just invited today to go to Vermont to see her best friend for several days so she will be leaving town on Monday. What good timing for her--she has been really upset by all this and feels responsible--like she should be doing something. Her therapist is working with her on processing memories--she is supposed to be focusing on therapy, not on another girl who has problems. I will be talking to him about this. He has said over and over to me that she needs to feel safe and stable in order to do the work of therapy. With her older sister gone we have been able to provide that, she doesn't need this. Thanks so much for all the replies--please feel free to send more advice. I am reading them all and you all have excellent points--no one right answer for sure! Also, my other dtr was good at making others feel sorry for her--like she had parents who didn't care so I am very aware of that as a possibility! Jane [/QUOTE]
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