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General Parenting
Using reward/punishment to 'untangle' diagnoses from learned behavior?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 369716" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Allan, I do understand the use of these charts as a tool to help direct the person in making better choices. I just didn't know that they were used as a "test" to determine what diagnosis to give.</p><p> </p><p>Whatamess, That was a wonderful conversation you had with your 5 year old. Keep talking to him. He sounds like a great kid. I really like how he said that he walks into the school and that he reconizes his need for more time in transition than the other kids. My difficult child was an "observer". We would go to cub scout, Sunday School, Vaction Bible School, where ever and he never wanted to join in. I never pushed it and when an adult would try to encourage him, I would say, "Give him time, he just wants to watch for now". And one day, he came out of his shell though years after all the other kids did and he is doing great! You wouldn't suspect this confident kid was ever so extremely "shy" as some would put it. I knew it wasn't shyness but more wanting/needing to learn and be sure he understood before doing.</p><p> </p><p>Do what you need to get an IEP in place. I don't know the steps because the teachers my difficult child had worked with me. They would do whatever I asked of them to help difficult child get through the two difficult years he had. Not all school systems are as willing to work with parents on the level our private school was. Once he entered the public school system, even getting my difficult child to have permission carry a waterbottle around in Middle School was a "fight" needing a doctor's order. Elementary school teachers are more accomodating and willing to work with each individual kid. However, with budget cuts and growing classrooms, that is a challenge for even the best teacher.</p><p> </p><p>I also agree wholeheartly that taking recess away should never be considered. This is so important for a kid's health, physical, emotional, and as well as social. Recesses are set for a reason - to give the kids a chance to stretch, run, play, a break. EVERY kid needs this break to play. It would be an open "punishment" that other kids will very soon pick up on and though the younger kids 5 - 7 are more tolerable and understanding that this is a way of life, as the kids get older, they will use it to tease him opening an entire new set of problems.</p><p> </p><p>Starting each day as positive as possible goes a long way. Inform the school that any discipling actions must be met the day of the situation. It is too long for a 5 year old to sit and think about the consequences if they go into the next day. It may take some creative thinking on how to accomplish this if the action is at the very end of the day but I am sure you can come up with something.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest you continue to pursue the neuropysch exam and whatever other tests you want. Get a date set. You can always cancel if the time gets closer and you don't feel you need it.</p><p> </p><p>You are doing a great job in recognizing what is happening, trying to figure out why, and looking for answers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 369716, member: 5096"] Allan, I do understand the use of these charts as a tool to help direct the person in making better choices. I just didn't know that they were used as a "test" to determine what diagnosis to give. Whatamess, That was a wonderful conversation you had with your 5 year old. Keep talking to him. He sounds like a great kid. I really like how he said that he walks into the school and that he reconizes his need for more time in transition than the other kids. My difficult child was an "observer". We would go to cub scout, Sunday School, Vaction Bible School, where ever and he never wanted to join in. I never pushed it and when an adult would try to encourage him, I would say, "Give him time, he just wants to watch for now". And one day, he came out of his shell though years after all the other kids did and he is doing great! You wouldn't suspect this confident kid was ever so extremely "shy" as some would put it. I knew it wasn't shyness but more wanting/needing to learn and be sure he understood before doing. Do what you need to get an IEP in place. I don't know the steps because the teachers my difficult child had worked with me. They would do whatever I asked of them to help difficult child get through the two difficult years he had. Not all school systems are as willing to work with parents on the level our private school was. Once he entered the public school system, even getting my difficult child to have permission carry a waterbottle around in Middle School was a "fight" needing a doctor's order. Elementary school teachers are more accomodating and willing to work with each individual kid. However, with budget cuts and growing classrooms, that is a challenge for even the best teacher. I also agree wholeheartly that taking recess away should never be considered. This is so important for a kid's health, physical, emotional, and as well as social. Recesses are set for a reason - to give the kids a chance to stretch, run, play, a break. EVERY kid needs this break to play. It would be an open "punishment" that other kids will very soon pick up on and though the younger kids 5 - 7 are more tolerable and understanding that this is a way of life, as the kids get older, they will use it to tease him opening an entire new set of problems. Starting each day as positive as possible goes a long way. Inform the school that any discipling actions must be met the day of the situation. It is too long for a 5 year old to sit and think about the consequences if they go into the next day. It may take some creative thinking on how to accomplish this if the action is at the very end of the day but I am sure you can come up with something. I would suggest you continue to pursue the neuropysch exam and whatever other tests you want. Get a date set. You can always cancel if the time gets closer and you don't feel you need it. You are doing a great job in recognizing what is happening, trying to figure out why, and looking for answers. [/QUOTE]
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Using reward/punishment to 'untangle' diagnoses from learned behavior?
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