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Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 753990" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I have been away from the site for a while because I went out of the country for some respite. I realize that I am lucky to be able to have that option. </p><p></p><p>I have grown in so many ways, but I continue on some levels to be enmeshed with my 34-year-old difficult son. He is more like an adolescent than an adult in most areas. He has been out of prison for a year and on Suboxone. Because he has a felony for dealing drugs, employment is difficult. </p><p></p><p>He knows how to play on my fears and heartstrings. Although I just retired, I need to be careful with my income, still I decided to cover one month’s rent for a Christmas present. He called tonight, telling me he will use the money to pay a ticket so as not to lose his license. I was not happy to hear this because I don’t believe he can afford a car, and I do not want to put any resources towards this. </p><p></p><p>He told me I always spoil the mood, and it shouldn’t matter what the money is going towards. Then, “when you bring the money, I don’t want to visit with you.” Right before that, he asked me to bring him Thanksgiving leftovers. He kept telling me how I always ruin things because I am so tense and not understanding. </p><p></p><p>Please, someone give me a reality check. Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting appreciation? I spent most of the day dealing with the hospital and doctors because my stepdad fell and broke both his hip and shoulder. When I said I had had and a hard day, he said, “I don’t need to hear about your problems.” A sane person would have hung up and said good riddance. </p><p></p><p>Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 753990, member: 19832"] I have been away from the site for a while because I went out of the country for some respite. I realize that I am lucky to be able to have that option. I have grown in so many ways, but I continue on some levels to be enmeshed with my 34-year-old difficult son. He is more like an adolescent than an adult in most areas. He has been out of prison for a year and on Suboxone. Because he has a felony for dealing drugs, employment is difficult. He knows how to play on my fears and heartstrings. Although I just retired, I need to be careful with my income, still I decided to cover one month’s rent for a Christmas present. He called tonight, telling me he will use the money to pay a ticket so as not to lose his license. I was not happy to hear this because I don’t believe he can afford a car, and I do not want to put any resources towards this. He told me I always spoil the mood, and it shouldn’t matter what the money is going towards. Then, “when you bring the money, I don’t want to visit with you.” Right before that, he asked me to bring him Thanksgiving leftovers. He kept telling me how I always ruin things because I am so tense and not understanding. Please, someone give me a reality check. Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting appreciation? I spent most of the day dealing with the hospital and doctors because my stepdad fell and broke both his hip and shoulder. When I said I had had and a hard day, he said, “I don’t need to hear about your problems.” A sane person would have hung up and said good riddance. Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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