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Parent Emeritus
Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 754027" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Things went from bad to worse. I planned to see my DS toda, so I drove with Thanksgiving leftovers the hour and a half to where he lives. </p><p></p><p>I hoped to explain my position on what I am willing to help with. He shut me down even before I could get a full sentence out of my mouth. I have not seen him this agitated for a very long time. Blamed me for his having a bad weekend, his being mean to his girlfriend, started blaming me for everything, and telling me how he is going to let everyone know how bad I am. Said he cut me out of his life for three years, and did I not want to see him for the rest of his life? I said, "If this is how you are going to treat me then yes." That triggered him to a whole other level of saying what an awful person I am and to not contact him anymore, and that if I came back he would slit my tires. I left immediately.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if he is using again although he says he is clean. I do know that he is stressed to the max. No excuse for that behavior. He yelled that spending $2,000 on him a year should be no big deal. I didn't respond. </p><p>I don't plan to respond to any calls/texts. I feel shell-shocked and don't want this kind of behavior in my life. Went to a 12 step meeting tonight and will find more this week.</p><p></p><p>Both my DS and daughter blame me for every bad thing in their life. I am willing to own my mistakes, but my extended family, therapist, and friends say they are so off the mark. My other adult son is incredibly kind and says he learned that growing up because he did not want to be mean like his older stepsister and stepbrother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 754027, member: 19832"] Things went from bad to worse. I planned to see my DS toda, so I drove with Thanksgiving leftovers the hour and a half to where he lives. I hoped to explain my position on what I am willing to help with. He shut me down even before I could get a full sentence out of my mouth. I have not seen him this agitated for a very long time. Blamed me for his having a bad weekend, his being mean to his girlfriend, started blaming me for everything, and telling me how he is going to let everyone know how bad I am. Said he cut me out of his life for three years, and did I not want to see him for the rest of his life? I said, "If this is how you are going to treat me then yes." That triggered him to a whole other level of saying what an awful person I am and to not contact him anymore, and that if I came back he would slit my tires. I left immediately. I don't know if he is using again although he says he is clean. I do know that he is stressed to the max. No excuse for that behavior. He yelled that spending $2,000 on him a year should be no big deal. I didn't respond. I don't plan to respond to any calls/texts. I feel shell-shocked and don't want this kind of behavior in my life. Went to a 12 step meeting tonight and will find more this week. Both my DS and daughter blame me for every bad thing in their life. I am willing to own my mistakes, but my extended family, therapist, and friends say they are so off the mark. My other adult son is incredibly kind and says he learned that growing up because he did not want to be mean like his older stepsister and stepbrother. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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