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venting...i'm so tired...at a loss...hugs?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 137021" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I can only throw out our own experience, which may or may not "fit" here or help you-</p><p></p><p>When difficult child first started exhibiting issues, we had several tdocs try to deal with things in this manner- because apparently even with a diagnosis in front of them, they felt that this was all a behavioral issue. I was going right along with this at first. Then I found #1) that method repetitively made difficult child's behavior worse, #2) it is not just a behavioral issue, #3) medications can alter it, #3) there are strategies that can be learned to help it #4) psychiatrist on the MDE team said that treating kids with - in our case depression or bipolar- like it's conduct disorder will never solve the problem, it appears to be what is actually a trigger for difficult child, and difficult child needs cognitive behavioral therapy, not behavioral management therapy.</p><p></p><p>Again, this is obviously specific to my difficult child, but I think it stresses to me tthat many tdocs might be good in what they do, but many times that really just is the wrong therapy or approach for our difficult child's. Sometimes tdocs are not as flexible in using different types of therapies as we think they are, and as unknowing parents who also have the objective of improving our difficult child's behavior, we readily go along with this approach. It does work for some, maybe a whole lot of kids. But if this is an ongoing nightmare with your difficult child, it sounds like something isn't working too well. Also, be careful with this because some (not all) tdocs who believe in a therapy and it doesn't work will try to convince the parent that it is the difficult child's fault that it didn't work. I wonder sometimes how many parents might have given up because they thought it must be true if the therapist said it.</p><p></p><p>I gave difficult child a break from tdocs altogether. Then found one who was willing to work on a good relationship with him first rather than behavioral management therapy. My difficult child is, also, on medications.</p><p></p><p>PS I'm not suggesting that cognitive therapy is appropriate for your difficult child- that may be something difficult for younger kids- I'm not sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 137021, member: 3699"] I can only throw out our own experience, which may or may not "fit" here or help you- When difficult child first started exhibiting issues, we had several tdocs try to deal with things in this manner- because apparently even with a diagnosis in front of them, they felt that this was all a behavioral issue. I was going right along with this at first. Then I found #1) that method repetitively made difficult child's behavior worse, #2) it is not just a behavioral issue, #3) medications can alter it, #3) there are strategies that can be learned to help it #4) psychiatrist on the MDE team said that treating kids with - in our case depression or bipolar- like it's conduct disorder will never solve the problem, it appears to be what is actually a trigger for difficult child, and difficult child needs cognitive behavioral therapy, not behavioral management therapy. Again, this is obviously specific to my difficult child, but I think it stresses to me tthat many tdocs might be good in what they do, but many times that really just is the wrong therapy or approach for our difficult child's. Sometimes tdocs are not as flexible in using different types of therapies as we think they are, and as unknowing parents who also have the objective of improving our difficult child's behavior, we readily go along with this approach. It does work for some, maybe a whole lot of kids. But if this is an ongoing nightmare with your difficult child, it sounds like something isn't working too well. Also, be careful with this because some (not all) tdocs who believe in a therapy and it doesn't work will try to convince the parent that it is the difficult child's fault that it didn't work. I wonder sometimes how many parents might have given up because they thought it must be true if the therapist said it. I gave difficult child a break from tdocs altogether. Then found one who was willing to work on a good relationship with him first rather than behavioral management therapy. My difficult child is, also, on medications. PS I'm not suggesting that cognitive therapy is appropriate for your difficult child- that may be something difficult for younger kids- I'm not sure. [/QUOTE]
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