Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
venting...i'm so tired...at a loss...hugs?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 137122" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Sorry, I still have not read the whole thread.....but I had another thing pop into my head. </p><p></p><p>Seems to me....many times over the years, not often, but sometimes----different people would do things that would frsutrate, anger, irritate, annoy, ANYONE. psychiatrists, tdocs, teachers.....(in a Special Education ED BD class) UM, let me think of an example...um..ok like you know how we teach the kids "good touch, bad touch" but then many places also go further and require a child to get permission to even enter anothers personal space? (especially in an ED BD class or psychiatric hospital or group setting, it is common, kids have to remember to stay say an armslength away from any other person?) </p><p>We teach kids from a very young age that they are to complain to someone if another person touches them and whatever? difficult child does not like tobe touched, has some mild sensory issues......"I" can touch her, but....she would often even cringe when it was me trying to brush her hair or whatever. </p><p>9th grade, lice going around. OK, makes sense, I understand BUT.....techer assistant comes up from behind difficult child and simply grabs her head to check for lice. No warning, nothing. difficult child jumps, when she jumps, her headknocks TA chin. TA grabs difficult child by body to hold her still to check for lice. difficult child starts to cry, tears sliding down her cheeks, and she is wriggling, saying let me go, what are you doing, don't touch me, PLEASE don't touch me. </p><p>Teacher runs over and grabs difficult child by front and says difficult child STOP IT RIGHT NOW! </p><p>We are checking you for lice! </p><p>By now difficult child is letting herself fall to floor, crying. Not wild sobbing and tantrum, juts kinda sliding to floor. </p><p>TA is holding her from behind, teacher from front. </p><p>Teacher then says difficult child! KNOCK IT OFF< we HAVE to check you for lice! difficult child is now curled in fetal position on floor of grade 9 ed bd class. </p><p>Teacher tells another student to go get school nurse to do lice check, as she holds difficult child in place. </p><p>Nurse comes and difficult child by now has her arms curled around her head, and TA holding difficult child so difficult child cannot "go anywhere" well difficult child is NOT trying to go anywhere......she is simply in fetal position on floor, arms wrapped around her head, by now mumbling "bugs? in my hair? oh no, not bugs, not in my hair? please let go of me, let me up, call my mom, she will check my hair, I don't want bugs in my hair" </p><p>Nurse tries to pull difficult child arms away and is not succeeding. </p><p> </p><p>Now nevermind difficult child has diagnosis of anxiety, sensory issues of touch, panic attacks.......nevermind they drill it into the kids all about "touching" and "personal space" and even "humiliating peers" </p><p></p><p>Nurse decides heck with this garbage, we ARE gonna check her head right now no matter WHAT. SHe yells at difficult child, difficult child! I am getting the school police officer to come handcuff you so we can check your head. </p><p>Um.......difficult child is VERY afraid of police, has the idea police will ALWAYS take you straight to jail. Does fear make difficult child get up? Nope, it makes her hyperventilate and break out in hives and go flaccid. </p><p></p><p>School ploice officer comes, tries to play hardball with difficult child. Actually DOES handcuff her, and she begins to wail. School nurse decides oops, we pushed difficult child too far...another kid in class has a forbidden cell, and has already called me.......</p><p></p><p>I show up. </p><p></p><p>School decides difficult child is in the wrong. </p><p>I am sorry. school has taught her for years not to touch anyone else if someone does not want to be touched. School drops the ed bd kids down levels, revokes priveleges if the kids violate personal space rules. Noone started out in immediate danger.lice do not jump up and kill people on the spot. Even if she HAD lice. What would have been so hard about handling this differently? </p><p>WHO escalated this?</p><p>Now-----I think even a nonn difficult child would have difficulty being manhandled this way over something. </p><p>Many times I wonder, was something handled differently BECUZ someone is a labeled difficult child? ANd hey there are lots of incidents where a reaction a difficult child displays can be relatively NORMAL.....but, becuz it is a difficult child reacting, suddenly everyone jumps up and has a problem with how difficult child acted. Does not matter the reaction might be normal. I can tell you, if yu come at me from behind, with no warning and start messing with MY head, I am not gonna be happy. and if you then pin my arms, I am gonna be MORE not happy. and if you escalate such a thing to involve threats of police handcuffing me? I will prolly react far more aggressively than my difficult child EVER does. </p><p>But becuz she IS a diagnosis'ed and labeled difficult child......seems like she is not allowed to have NORMAL reactions. Suddenly everything is subject to scrutiny, possibly medication changes, possible discipline, loss of privelege......whateever. </p><p></p><p>Hey if I hit my thumb with a hammer? Likely I am gonna have some not so nice language coming out of my mouth. Now if I was just talking to the lady at checkout at grocery and swore at her for no reason, yes, something might be wrong with me, I am behaving crummy.maybe I need medication change....or I need to be reigned in. But hey, if I hammer my thumb and cuss? and the oh sh words come blurting out? in my opinion THAT is NOT grounds for people to get all riled up or talk about changeing my medications or anything. </p><p></p><p>Or even washing my mouth out with soap. Forget it. </p><p></p><p>I do not go around pushing buttons of difficult children or non difficult children. Not on purpose, and if I do it by accident, well, why would I poke a lion? Sounds like I would be the one doing something dumb.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 137122, member: 1697"] Sorry, I still have not read the whole thread.....but I had another thing pop into my head. Seems to me....many times over the years, not often, but sometimes----different people would do things that would frsutrate, anger, irritate, annoy, ANYONE. psychiatrists, tdocs, teachers.....(in a Special Education ED BD class) UM, let me think of an example...um..ok like you know how we teach the kids "good touch, bad touch" but then many places also go further and require a child to get permission to even enter anothers personal space? (especially in an ED BD class or psychiatric hospital or group setting, it is common, kids have to remember to stay say an armslength away from any other person?) We teach kids from a very young age that they are to complain to someone if another person touches them and whatever? difficult child does not like tobe touched, has some mild sensory issues......"I" can touch her, but....she would often even cringe when it was me trying to brush her hair or whatever. 9th grade, lice going around. OK, makes sense, I understand BUT.....techer assistant comes up from behind difficult child and simply grabs her head to check for lice. No warning, nothing. difficult child jumps, when she jumps, her headknocks TA chin. TA grabs difficult child by body to hold her still to check for lice. difficult child starts to cry, tears sliding down her cheeks, and she is wriggling, saying let me go, what are you doing, don't touch me, PLEASE don't touch me. Teacher runs over and grabs difficult child by front and says difficult child STOP IT RIGHT NOW! We are checking you for lice! By now difficult child is letting herself fall to floor, crying. Not wild sobbing and tantrum, juts kinda sliding to floor. TA is holding her from behind, teacher from front. Teacher then says difficult child! KNOCK IT OFF< we HAVE to check you for lice! difficult child is now curled in fetal position on floor of grade 9 ed bd class. Teacher tells another student to go get school nurse to do lice check, as she holds difficult child in place. Nurse comes and difficult child by now has her arms curled around her head, and TA holding difficult child so difficult child cannot "go anywhere" well difficult child is NOT trying to go anywhere......she is simply in fetal position on floor, arms wrapped around her head, by now mumbling "bugs? in my hair? oh no, not bugs, not in my hair? please let go of me, let me up, call my mom, she will check my hair, I don't want bugs in my hair" Nurse tries to pull difficult child arms away and is not succeeding. Now nevermind difficult child has diagnosis of anxiety, sensory issues of touch, panic attacks.......nevermind they drill it into the kids all about "touching" and "personal space" and even "humiliating peers" Nurse decides heck with this garbage, we ARE gonna check her head right now no matter WHAT. SHe yells at difficult child, difficult child! I am getting the school police officer to come handcuff you so we can check your head. Um.......difficult child is VERY afraid of police, has the idea police will ALWAYS take you straight to jail. Does fear make difficult child get up? Nope, it makes her hyperventilate and break out in hives and go flaccid. School ploice officer comes, tries to play hardball with difficult child. Actually DOES handcuff her, and she begins to wail. School nurse decides oops, we pushed difficult child too far...another kid in class has a forbidden cell, and has already called me....... I show up. School decides difficult child is in the wrong. I am sorry. school has taught her for years not to touch anyone else if someone does not want to be touched. School drops the ed bd kids down levels, revokes priveleges if the kids violate personal space rules. Noone started out in immediate danger.lice do not jump up and kill people on the spot. Even if she HAD lice. What would have been so hard about handling this differently? WHO escalated this? Now-----I think even a nonn difficult child would have difficulty being manhandled this way over something. Many times I wonder, was something handled differently BECUZ someone is a labeled difficult child? ANd hey there are lots of incidents where a reaction a difficult child displays can be relatively NORMAL.....but, becuz it is a difficult child reacting, suddenly everyone jumps up and has a problem with how difficult child acted. Does not matter the reaction might be normal. I can tell you, if yu come at me from behind, with no warning and start messing with MY head, I am not gonna be happy. and if you then pin my arms, I am gonna be MORE not happy. and if you escalate such a thing to involve threats of police handcuffing me? I will prolly react far more aggressively than my difficult child EVER does. But becuz she IS a diagnosis'ed and labeled difficult child......seems like she is not allowed to have NORMAL reactions. Suddenly everything is subject to scrutiny, possibly medication changes, possible discipline, loss of privelege......whateever. Hey if I hit my thumb with a hammer? Likely I am gonna have some not so nice language coming out of my mouth. Now if I was just talking to the lady at checkout at grocery and swore at her for no reason, yes, something might be wrong with me, I am behaving crummy.maybe I need medication change....or I need to be reigned in. But hey, if I hammer my thumb and cuss? and the oh sh words come blurting out? in my opinion THAT is NOT grounds for people to get all riled up or talk about changeing my medications or anything. Or even washing my mouth out with soap. Forget it. I do not go around pushing buttons of difficult children or non difficult children. Not on purpose, and if I do it by accident, well, why would I poke a lion? Sounds like I would be the one doing something dumb. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
venting...i'm so tired...at a loss...hugs?
Top