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Verbally abusive bullying adult son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 748845" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Im learning that we cant help them. Money doesn't help. Buying someone anything doesn't help. The only person who can help somebody else is the person who needs the help.</p><p></p><p>We bought our daughter everything, spending most of our retirement, hoping to jump start her and her lazy husband. Actually she is also lazy and both have been chronic, daily pot smokers for twenty years. When we finally stopped the giving help, she had burned through one house, one mobile home, several rentals that they were supposed to help pay for but always ended up behind on, two cars and infinite amounts of household items, especially after my grandson was born. </p><p></p><p>We don't see any growth in our Kay or her husband Lee. Lee works at jobs then quits or gets fired and his parents often help now because we are tapped out. Plus we don't want to "help" anymore. Kay is a lazy mother and poor housekeeper who wont work. I used to clean her places because the mess drove me nuts but I wont do that anymore. So the house is a mess. Our "help" did not help. They have not grown up at all and I worry about my grandson.</p><p></p><p>Our handouts and help "getting on my feet" (how often did I hear that one?) became higher expectations of money and toys from us, no effort by them, verbal abuse and no growth. My husband and I shouldn't feel guilty, but we feel very guilty!!</p><p></p><p>It is scary to know my daughter and her husband are still as lazy and as unmotivated as they were ten years ago. </p><p></p><p>Gas. Dont do it please. Your son can ride a bike, take a bus or walk. I fell for that "We need a car or Lee wont be able to get to work" sham. So he drove to work when he didn't need to because a lot of his jobs were on the bus line or within biking distance. And of course they always needed gas! </p><p></p><p>Our kids need to grow up or do life the hard way. I never wanted my kids to have it tough. My husband makes a great living. So we eagerly shared and it was not good. Giving too much is not good</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 748845, member: 23706"] Im learning that we cant help them. Money doesn't help. Buying someone anything doesn't help. The only person who can help somebody else is the person who needs the help. We bought our daughter everything, spending most of our retirement, hoping to jump start her and her lazy husband. Actually she is also lazy and both have been chronic, daily pot smokers for twenty years. When we finally stopped the giving help, she had burned through one house, one mobile home, several rentals that they were supposed to help pay for but always ended up behind on, two cars and infinite amounts of household items, especially after my grandson was born. We don't see any growth in our Kay or her husband Lee. Lee works at jobs then quits or gets fired and his parents often help now because we are tapped out. Plus we don't want to "help" anymore. Kay is a lazy mother and poor housekeeper who wont work. I used to clean her places because the mess drove me nuts but I wont do that anymore. So the house is a mess. Our "help" did not help. They have not grown up at all and I worry about my grandson. Our handouts and help "getting on my feet" (how often did I hear that one?) became higher expectations of money and toys from us, no effort by them, verbal abuse and no growth. My husband and I shouldn't feel guilty, but we feel very guilty!! It is scary to know my daughter and her husband are still as lazy and as unmotivated as they were ten years ago. Gas. Dont do it please. Your son can ride a bike, take a bus or walk. I fell for that "We need a car or Lee wont be able to get to work" sham. So he drove to work when he didn't need to because a lot of his jobs were on the bus line or within biking distance. And of course they always needed gas! Our kids need to grow up or do life the hard way. I never wanted my kids to have it tough. My husband makes a great living. So we eagerly shared and it was not good. Giving too much is not good [/QUOTE]
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Verbally abusive bullying adult son
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