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Very angry! IEP etc given to another parent! Really need advice!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 306804" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Matt'smom, my initial reaction on reading this was, The school has done the right thing in letting you know and in immediately beginning a detailed enquiry. MY reaction, on receiving their letter, would have been to of course be angry that this happened, but work WITH the school to faciliate an enquiry.</p><p></p><p>HOWEVER - as I read on, it becomes increasingly apparent that at some level someone has said, "Stop this! You've let out a huge cat out of this hessian sack."</p><p></p><p>Somehow this family got the document. WHY did this family then contact the school? Was it nyaah, nyahh? Lookie what we found? Or was it ourtage, like yours, that their son's details were so freely available? For this family to have been met with, "HOW did you get this? And for them to not give the easy answer - tells me, asi ti does you, that the easy answer is incorrect. It also tells me that this family has more integrity than they're being credited with. </p><p></p><p>My theory - someone at the school was similarly outraged at the accessibility and photocopied this for the family (or perhaps someone in the family is a parent volunteer at the school, or was passing through, saw it, grabbed it quickly to copy then put it back before its absence was noticed?). I can tell you that at our local school there are staff members (teaching and noon-teaching) who have said and emailed some very horrible things at times, including making personal attacks on me and on friends of mine. These statements NOT official form the school and not sanctioned by the school.</p><p></p><p>This is difficult. We are talking about the School, as an entity, and as such I don't think the school has done anything wrong (other than to not safeguard the information). But individuals at the school HAVE done things wrong - they have not looked after confidential information put in their care; they have tried to cover up things done wrong; they have tried to pay down the whole thing as "it's not a big deal".</p><p></p><p>But this IS a big deal, if the kdis are upset. Even more than the parents, the kids should NOT be disadvantaged by this in any way. I suspect that the distress in the kids could be grounds for legal action (which is why the attemtps are so strong, to hose tihs down).</p><p></p><p>The other family themselves are not the problem. How they got the information - THAT is a BIG problem.</p><p></p><p>As to why the information was so broadly disseminated - we had problems with other school staff who did not know difficult child 3 well, when they had incidental dealings with him. A teacher put on relief teaching, a teacher form another class who temporarily was left with difficult child 3's class as well (being escorted to the school hall, giving difficult child 3 instructions which conflicted with ones previously given by his class teacher, which led to the rest of the school having to be evacuated from the school hall because difficult child 3 was in full rage and throwing furniture around). Other teachers who disciplined difficult child 3 for trying to do what he had been told he must do. There were things in difficult child 3's IEP that these other teaches should have been told.</p><p></p><p>The trouble with not telling - you get problems like we had. The trouble with telling - every chain is no stronger than its weakest link, and the more people you tell, the more leaks you get in the confidence. The more chance it WILL get out.</p><p></p><p>WHat has to happen here - THIS damage is done. But POLICY has to be formed as a result of this. How should staff be informed in the future? How to inform them and still ensure cofidentiality? And what can be done NOW, to ease the pain of ALL the kids involved?</p><p></p><p>If this enquiry is simply closed now, with no real recommendations, then this pain is all for nothing. But if something positive can come out of this pain that can prevdent other kids being similarly hurt in the future, that can be some consolation.</p><p></p><p>There needs to be more communication, there needs to be a follow-through.</p><p></p><p>This enquiry should NOT be closed. If it is, then you need to take this further up.</p><p></p><p>Is there any chance you could collaborate with this other parent? Or have circumstances made you both poles apart on these issues? Some difficult child parents can collaborate, some cannot. Some are wild cards, some are plodding conservative workers. Some are in the middle.</p><p></p><p>I'd be putting your concerns and distress in writing, especially pushing the "How can we improve procedures for the future to ensure good dissemination of vital information but still make sure this massive breach of confidentiality doesn't happen again?" and send the letter with cc's on the bottom, right up the chain. Go for the lot on this, especially if you get something in writing form the school saying that this enquiry is now closed. If you get that letter - attach acopy to your own letter and send it striaght to the Minister for Education (I'm assuming you're in Canada?). If you get no satisfactory response, then send the package again, to the Opposition spokesperson on education and the media.</p><p></p><p>But be prepared for the limelight that could result. This will require a follow-through (which it sounds like the other family were not prepared to do).</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 306804, member: 1991"] Matt'smom, my initial reaction on reading this was, The school has done the right thing in letting you know and in immediately beginning a detailed enquiry. MY reaction, on receiving their letter, would have been to of course be angry that this happened, but work WITH the school to faciliate an enquiry. HOWEVER - as I read on, it becomes increasingly apparent that at some level someone has said, "Stop this! You've let out a huge cat out of this hessian sack." Somehow this family got the document. WHY did this family then contact the school? Was it nyaah, nyahh? Lookie what we found? Or was it ourtage, like yours, that their son's details were so freely available? For this family to have been met with, "HOW did you get this? And for them to not give the easy answer - tells me, asi ti does you, that the easy answer is incorrect. It also tells me that this family has more integrity than they're being credited with. My theory - someone at the school was similarly outraged at the accessibility and photocopied this for the family (or perhaps someone in the family is a parent volunteer at the school, or was passing through, saw it, grabbed it quickly to copy then put it back before its absence was noticed?). I can tell you that at our local school there are staff members (teaching and noon-teaching) who have said and emailed some very horrible things at times, including making personal attacks on me and on friends of mine. These statements NOT official form the school and not sanctioned by the school. This is difficult. We are talking about the School, as an entity, and as such I don't think the school has done anything wrong (other than to not safeguard the information). But individuals at the school HAVE done things wrong - they have not looked after confidential information put in their care; they have tried to cover up things done wrong; they have tried to pay down the whole thing as "it's not a big deal". But this IS a big deal, if the kdis are upset. Even more than the parents, the kids should NOT be disadvantaged by this in any way. I suspect that the distress in the kids could be grounds for legal action (which is why the attemtps are so strong, to hose tihs down). The other family themselves are not the problem. How they got the information - THAT is a BIG problem. As to why the information was so broadly disseminated - we had problems with other school staff who did not know difficult child 3 well, when they had incidental dealings with him. A teacher put on relief teaching, a teacher form another class who temporarily was left with difficult child 3's class as well (being escorted to the school hall, giving difficult child 3 instructions which conflicted with ones previously given by his class teacher, which led to the rest of the school having to be evacuated from the school hall because difficult child 3 was in full rage and throwing furniture around). Other teachers who disciplined difficult child 3 for trying to do what he had been told he must do. There were things in difficult child 3's IEP that these other teaches should have been told. The trouble with not telling - you get problems like we had. The trouble with telling - every chain is no stronger than its weakest link, and the more people you tell, the more leaks you get in the confidence. The more chance it WILL get out. WHat has to happen here - THIS damage is done. But POLICY has to be formed as a result of this. How should staff be informed in the future? How to inform them and still ensure cofidentiality? And what can be done NOW, to ease the pain of ALL the kids involved? If this enquiry is simply closed now, with no real recommendations, then this pain is all for nothing. But if something positive can come out of this pain that can prevdent other kids being similarly hurt in the future, that can be some consolation. There needs to be more communication, there needs to be a follow-through. This enquiry should NOT be closed. If it is, then you need to take this further up. Is there any chance you could collaborate with this other parent? Or have circumstances made you both poles apart on these issues? Some difficult child parents can collaborate, some cannot. Some are wild cards, some are plodding conservative workers. Some are in the middle. I'd be putting your concerns and distress in writing, especially pushing the "How can we improve procedures for the future to ensure good dissemination of vital information but still make sure this massive breach of confidentiality doesn't happen again?" and send the letter with cc's on the bottom, right up the chain. Go for the lot on this, especially if you get something in writing form the school saying that this enquiry is now closed. If you get that letter - attach acopy to your own letter and send it striaght to the Minister for Education (I'm assuming you're in Canada?). If you get no satisfactory response, then send the package again, to the Opposition spokesperson on education and the media. But be prepared for the limelight that could result. This will require a follow-through (which it sounds like the other family were not prepared to do). Marg [/QUOTE]
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Very angry! IEP etc given to another parent! Really need advice!
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