Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Very Upset
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 258232" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It hhurts. But don't fall into the trap of thinking that a church should be more welcoming, more accepting than other people - often they are far less. It's wrong but it's the way it happens. Not fair.</p><p></p><p>I suggest you schedule an appointment with the pastor (or someone who you feel will give you more attention) and instead of trying to kick in the door of the youth group (which may happen to be a bad fit right now, for all sorts of reasons) I would be asking the following question:</p><p></p><p>"As youth pastor in this church, recognising that difficult child is NOT a naughty kid but is in fact a child who has significant problems beyond his control, in the same way a blind child would have difficulty orienteering, what can you recommend for us to keep him involved with other children his age, and engaged in the life of the church? We are at a crossroads here, the church has an opportunity yo help this child and thereby keep him, anf this family, lpugged in to this church community; or you could show a lack of committment to inclusion at all costs and lose him, and probably us, from the church community here and perhaps even from the wider community. So any ideas? We want to find a solution here, not to be seen as the problem."</p><p></p><p>It could be that some other parents have said, "either difficult child goes or my kids do," and at some point someoone is making a call to lose the least. Losing you, after all you've done - tragic, but after all, you've already done it. They would be losing your history, but the alternative could be to lose even more, and potential workers rather than those already who have done their share.</p><p></p><p>The squeaky wheel gets the most oil - time for you to really scream. do some homework before you fgo, get ready to pull out all the emotional blackmail you can with as many apt Bible quotews you can find (a good concordance is a great investment right now).</p><p></p><p>There have been times when we've taken a large step back from church. </p><p></p><p>Remember, a church is still just people, who are just as fallible, sinful, selfish as everyone else - and often smug into the bargain. I say this as a current churchgoer, but one who has also been burned.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 258232, member: 1991"] It hhurts. But don't fall into the trap of thinking that a church should be more welcoming, more accepting than other people - often they are far less. It's wrong but it's the way it happens. Not fair. I suggest you schedule an appointment with the pastor (or someone who you feel will give you more attention) and instead of trying to kick in the door of the youth group (which may happen to be a bad fit right now, for all sorts of reasons) I would be asking the following question: "As youth pastor in this church, recognising that difficult child is NOT a naughty kid but is in fact a child who has significant problems beyond his control, in the same way a blind child would have difficulty orienteering, what can you recommend for us to keep him involved with other children his age, and engaged in the life of the church? We are at a crossroads here, the church has an opportunity yo help this child and thereby keep him, anf this family, lpugged in to this church community; or you could show a lack of committment to inclusion at all costs and lose him, and probably us, from the church community here and perhaps even from the wider community. So any ideas? We want to find a solution here, not to be seen as the problem." It could be that some other parents have said, "either difficult child goes or my kids do," and at some point someoone is making a call to lose the least. Losing you, after all you've done - tragic, but after all, you've already done it. They would be losing your history, but the alternative could be to lose even more, and potential workers rather than those already who have done their share. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil - time for you to really scream. do some homework before you fgo, get ready to pull out all the emotional blackmail you can with as many apt Bible quotews you can find (a good concordance is a great investment right now). There have been times when we've taken a large step back from church. Remember, a church is still just people, who are just as fallible, sinful, selfish as everyone else - and often smug into the bargain. I say this as a current churchgoer, but one who has also been burned. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Very Upset
Top