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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 258308" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I am so sorry, JLady. been there done that. </p><p>I had to get difficult child to apologize to one of the teen youth group leaders (who was also our home babysitter) yrs ago because her father, in an angry manner, approached me and said, "Your son made her cry."</p><p> </p><p>Excuse me, who's in charge here? A 5-yr-old made a 15-yr-old cry? </p><p> </p><p>But I took the high road, and used it as a learning experience for difficult child in regard to his behavior.</p><p>(We also never used that teen as a babysitter at our house any more.)</p><p> </p><p>For our g'sfg, we need people with experience, and it is clear that youth group leader doesn't have it. I agree with-the others, that you need to go over his head and work out another solution. Because if you leave the church and seek out another one, chances are the same thing will happen in another place.</p><p> </p><p>My husband teaches Sunday school. Last yr, a cpl approached him and told him that he, being a chiro and a Christian, would be able to heal their son, and they dumped their Aspie son on him. They did no interventions at home, refused to accept that their son was Aspie, and said that God would heal him.</p><p> </p><p>husband learned that the best way to communicate with-this teen was through his brother. So the first thing they did was get the teen to move his desk so it faced everyone else's. They had to move the desk every single Sunday. husband had to not take it personally--the teen didn't hate him, he just felt more comfortable turning his back.</p><p>One Sun., husband made a small breakthrough, when he got the teen to write or repeat something--and it was verbatim. All the other kids were goofining off, but this kid, who acted as though he was dead to the world, was absorbing it all.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that you can explain to the pastor that your child is different, that you understand that it is a difficult situation, that you are willing to work with-them, but that you expect them to meet you half way.</p><p>Go to the mtng with-an agenda and a list of ideas that you can all implement.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, I'm sending hugs, because I know how much it hurts to be excluded. It is hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 258308, member: 3419"] I am so sorry, JLady. been there done that. I had to get difficult child to apologize to one of the teen youth group leaders (who was also our home babysitter) yrs ago because her father, in an angry manner, approached me and said, "Your son made her cry." Excuse me, who's in charge here? A 5-yr-old made a 15-yr-old cry? But I took the high road, and used it as a learning experience for difficult child in regard to his behavior. (We also never used that teen as a babysitter at our house any more.) For our g'sfg, we need people with experience, and it is clear that youth group leader doesn't have it. I agree with-the others, that you need to go over his head and work out another solution. Because if you leave the church and seek out another one, chances are the same thing will happen in another place. My husband teaches Sunday school. Last yr, a cpl approached him and told him that he, being a chiro and a Christian, would be able to heal their son, and they dumped their Aspie son on him. They did no interventions at home, refused to accept that their son was Aspie, and said that God would heal him. husband learned that the best way to communicate with-this teen was through his brother. So the first thing they did was get the teen to move his desk so it faced everyone else's. They had to move the desk every single Sunday. husband had to not take it personally--the teen didn't hate him, he just felt more comfortable turning his back. One Sun., husband made a small breakthrough, when he got the teen to write or repeat something--and it was verbatim. All the other kids were goofining off, but this kid, who acted as though he was dead to the world, was absorbing it all. I hope that you can explain to the pastor that your child is different, that you understand that it is a difficult situation, that you are willing to work with-them, but that you expect them to meet you half way. Go to the mtng with-an agenda and a list of ideas that you can all implement. In the meantime, I'm sending hugs, because I know how much it hurts to be excluded. It is hard. [/QUOTE]
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