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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 258516" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Some sensible advice has been offered here. If you increasingly find what you need elsewhere, it is the church that is the loser. It is also very much better for your son, to put him in an environment where people know what they are doing, and who will ensure he gets what he needs, and not merely what they THINK he will need.</p><p></p><p>We've been there done that with two boys so far, plus had some awful things said to one daughter by people who claimed to be speaking/acting with "divine inspiration" - we still go to that church, although in each case (thankfully) the ones who hurt our children do not.</p><p></p><p>Churches, like any other organisation, are made up of people. If we get hurt there, it is people who have hurt us. But if we have a child who needs careful handling, we as parents need to do the spadework (no matter where it is - school, church or equivalent, community group) to make sure that the people there are doing the righ thing by our child and not in fact doing more harm. Well-meaning ignorance can still be just as damaging sometimes as deliberate abuse.</p><p></p><p>Whoever it is, we as parents need to be able to work with whoever works with our children.</p><p></p><p>I think you handled this well and I hope you are able to find something suitable for your son. As for his spiritual welfare - if necessary, you sound more than capable of taking care of this for yourself. Again, it is easy to damage a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, because they are so trusting and so vulnerable emotionally. I still see this with difficult child 1, even though he is very high-functioning and 25 years old now.</p><p></p><p>As for difficult child 3 - his understanding of anything is still concrete, any abtractions are too complex for him to understand so we still do our best to monitor what he is exposed to in this area.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 258516, member: 1991"] Some sensible advice has been offered here. If you increasingly find what you need elsewhere, it is the church that is the loser. It is also very much better for your son, to put him in an environment where people know what they are doing, and who will ensure he gets what he needs, and not merely what they THINK he will need. We've been there done that with two boys so far, plus had some awful things said to one daughter by people who claimed to be speaking/acting with "divine inspiration" - we still go to that church, although in each case (thankfully) the ones who hurt our children do not. Churches, like any other organisation, are made up of people. If we get hurt there, it is people who have hurt us. But if we have a child who needs careful handling, we as parents need to do the spadework (no matter where it is - school, church or equivalent, community group) to make sure that the people there are doing the righ thing by our child and not in fact doing more harm. Well-meaning ignorance can still be just as damaging sometimes as deliberate abuse. Whoever it is, we as parents need to be able to work with whoever works with our children. I think you handled this well and I hope you are able to find something suitable for your son. As for his spiritual welfare - if necessary, you sound more than capable of taking care of this for yourself. Again, it is easy to damage a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, because they are so trusting and so vulnerable emotionally. I still see this with difficult child 1, even though he is very high-functioning and 25 years old now. As for difficult child 3 - his understanding of anything is still concrete, any abtractions are too complex for him to understand so we still do our best to monitor what he is exposed to in this area. Marg [/QUOTE]
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