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Visit at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for family counseling - Sad boy
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 108560" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hugs for your heart - you painted a picture that has been my life with my son so many Christmas holidays. </p><p></p><p>I will tell you this because I learned the hard way and NOW even the experts will tell you the same regarding a discharge date: </p><p></p><p>DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO BE VAGUE ABOUT IT as even the slightest hint of a release date will sabotage your sons chances to do the real work that needs to be done to get out. </p><p></p><p>When/If he asks again? What do I have to do to get out? Get out your copy of the parent hand book and turn to level 2. Then read the rules for making it to the next level. And say "Hey It's a start, when you came here you weren't even on level 1" You're doing very well. </p><p></p><p>And if the wining persists with tears and then comes the You don't love me, they're treating me badly, you need to come get me, I'm going to die in heres - just hang up. Cry when you need to and deal with it the best you can. During this time it's a good idea to have someone to talk to. </p><p></p><p>Just don't EVER even say - well you can only stay 18 months. Or You can come home when your better. Just keep saying things like" Well you have to earn your way out" or "What do you think is the hardest thing about this level? or That was sure a hard level you conquered - good job. THinks like that - </p><p></p><p>And any home visits you have - BEFORE You leave the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that day sit down in the day room and discuss THE RULES and the consequences for him to stay the whole time. I hate to sound like Ebenezer Scrooge - but we had a 3 hour drive one year. THe first home visit we were just so happy to see him home, have his things, sleep in his bed, enjoy peace and quiet - we let him get away with ALL kinds of stuff. The second visit was Christmas - and we did it again. The second Christmas - we weren't even allowed to see him. Talk about killing you slowly. And by the fourth home visit in February we kept the tree up and celebrated Christmas then as if it were Dec. 25 and not Valentines day. </p><p></p><p>But that visit - we explained the rules and it was a 5 hour drive for us. Morning - great, breakfast, gifts, playtime and about 4 that evening - no control so we loaded up, without hesitation and took him back - our next visit? Much better especially when we said "And the rules are, and if you don't comply you WILL go back" he believed us. If you forgive behavior on your Christmas visit = almost understandable - but keep what I've told you in mind. </p><p></p><p>Hope it works out for you all - hugs for your poor son. Congrats on the level - my son has been in numerous institutions and never made a level 2 ever - I'm rootin' for your kid! </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 108560, member: 4964"] Hugs for your heart - you painted a picture that has been my life with my son so many Christmas holidays. I will tell you this because I learned the hard way and NOW even the experts will tell you the same regarding a discharge date: DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO BE VAGUE ABOUT IT as even the slightest hint of a release date will sabotage your sons chances to do the real work that needs to be done to get out. When/If he asks again? What do I have to do to get out? Get out your copy of the parent hand book and turn to level 2. Then read the rules for making it to the next level. And say "Hey It's a start, when you came here you weren't even on level 1" You're doing very well. And if the wining persists with tears and then comes the You don't love me, they're treating me badly, you need to come get me, I'm going to die in heres - just hang up. Cry when you need to and deal with it the best you can. During this time it's a good idea to have someone to talk to. Just don't EVER even say - well you can only stay 18 months. Or You can come home when your better. Just keep saying things like" Well you have to earn your way out" or "What do you think is the hardest thing about this level? or That was sure a hard level you conquered - good job. THinks like that - And any home visits you have - BEFORE You leave the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that day sit down in the day room and discuss THE RULES and the consequences for him to stay the whole time. I hate to sound like Ebenezer Scrooge - but we had a 3 hour drive one year. THe first home visit we were just so happy to see him home, have his things, sleep in his bed, enjoy peace and quiet - we let him get away with ALL kinds of stuff. The second visit was Christmas - and we did it again. The second Christmas - we weren't even allowed to see him. Talk about killing you slowly. And by the fourth home visit in February we kept the tree up and celebrated Christmas then as if it were Dec. 25 and not Valentines day. But that visit - we explained the rules and it was a 5 hour drive for us. Morning - great, breakfast, gifts, playtime and about 4 that evening - no control so we loaded up, without hesitation and took him back - our next visit? Much better especially when we said "And the rules are, and if you don't comply you WILL go back" he believed us. If you forgive behavior on your Christmas visit = almost understandable - but keep what I've told you in mind. Hope it works out for you all - hugs for your poor son. Congrats on the level - my son has been in numerous institutions and never made a level 2 ever - I'm rootin' for your kid! Star [/QUOTE]
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