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General Parenting
Visit at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for family counseling - Sad boy
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 108621" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>David,</p><p></p><p>I'm going to be brutally honest with you this morning. I'm sure that your difficult children emotion, sadness & eagerness to know what needs to be done to get home is genuine at the moment. A parent's heart will break while a difficult child will beg to know, promise to make the changes necessary.</p><p></p><p>And saying that, I watched both of my children in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) setting. It's hard - the structure is more than any home can provide. And they HAD to work the program; HAD to graduate to come home. </p><p></p><p>My son wm, especially, was & is always looking for the easy way or shortcut to get around a rule or learn a new skill. wm can & will tell you why he isn't living at home; he will hold it together for an hour or two visit but when it comes to the day to day of that same skill wm cannot do it. He doesn't even try unless husband or I are visiting. That isn't to say that wm's emotions & expressed desires aren't honest or real at the time. </p><p></p><p>That is the point - it's at THAT point in time. It's forgotten or becomes too hard to even try after husband or I have left.</p><p></p><p>My honest reply to kt or wm when I visited at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - "you need to work the program & graduate". I agreed with both of them how hard it is to do this (change is hard) & I would say this once & with little emotion. The tweedles learned quickly that if this turned into a whine fest that husband & I would be leaving.</p><p></p><p>Did this break my heart? Darned right! Did it turn it around? For the most part it has. </p><p></p><p>wm, to this day, asks each visit. wm, now answers the question himself before I can even attempt to answer. He knows - he also knows that he has to be in this for the long haul. </p><p></p><p>David - I hope you have a wonderful visit with your difficult child over the holiday. I hope your difficult child learns that the program must be worked.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 108621, member: 393"] David, I'm going to be brutally honest with you this morning. I'm sure that your difficult children emotion, sadness & eagerness to know what needs to be done to get home is genuine at the moment. A parent's heart will break while a difficult child will beg to know, promise to make the changes necessary. And saying that, I watched both of my children in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) setting. It's hard - the structure is more than any home can provide. And they HAD to work the program; HAD to graduate to come home. My son wm, especially, was & is always looking for the easy way or shortcut to get around a rule or learn a new skill. wm can & will tell you why he isn't living at home; he will hold it together for an hour or two visit but when it comes to the day to day of that same skill wm cannot do it. He doesn't even try unless husband or I are visiting. That isn't to say that wm's emotions & expressed desires aren't honest or real at the time. That is the point - it's at THAT point in time. It's forgotten or becomes too hard to even try after husband or I have left. My honest reply to kt or wm when I visited at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - "you need to work the program & graduate". I agreed with both of them how hard it is to do this (change is hard) & I would say this once & with little emotion. The tweedles learned quickly that if this turned into a whine fest that husband & I would be leaving. Did this break my heart? Darned right! Did it turn it around? For the most part it has. wm, to this day, asks each visit. wm, now answers the question himself before I can even attempt to answer. He knows - he also knows that he has to be in this for the long haul. David - I hope you have a wonderful visit with your difficult child over the holiday. I hope your difficult child learns that the program must be worked. [/QUOTE]
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