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General Parenting
Visit at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for family counseling - Sad boy
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 108698" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>David, I'm impressed at how well you are handling all of this. You're saying all the right things, doing as much as you humanly can. Having been in your shoes, I know how hard that is.</p><p></p><p>I do remember the first time I had to leave in the middle of a visit with my daughter. It broke my heart. I drove down the mountain (very windy road) with tears streaming non-stop. I was still sobbing when I got on the plane to fly home. I had to keep reminding myself I was doing this for her, not me. She had to learn there were other people in the world besides her and she could not say whatever hateful thing she thought up. I never had to leave a visit again.</p><p></p><p>Her first visit home was an unmitigated disaster. I would have sent her back to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) about 15 minutes after she walked in the door but there wasn't a flight available. She came in and all of the attitude, anger, volatility came in with her. She resented that she couldn't go to the mall or call her friends (against the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) rules for home visits). She resented that she would have chores at home. She resented everything rule and restriction put on her. Considering she had signed a contract prior to the home visit listing all rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and me, her behavior was way over the line. It really was a testing by her to see what she could get away with. It was an eyeopener for me and showed how far she had to go with the program and how little she had actually worked it. When she returned to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she dropped 3 levels because of the vist. It took another 6 months before she could come home again. She was a totally different young lady the second time around.</p><p></p><p>So, do be prepared for anything. He may come home and be as good as gold. He may try to manipulate you (and any family members who come to visit such as your mother) any way he can. Whatever happens, be strong. </p><p></p><p>You'll get as much pain out of the visit as you will joy. It hurts to know your child is in someone else's care, especially during holidays. To know that he will have to return and be away from you is heartwrenching. I think this is even more true for we single parents of only children. We really do put our lives into our one child.</p><p></p><p>I hope this weekend is a good visit. Do have all plans and contingencies in place. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 108698, member: 3626"] David, I'm impressed at how well you are handling all of this. You're saying all the right things, doing as much as you humanly can. Having been in your shoes, I know how hard that is. I do remember the first time I had to leave in the middle of a visit with my daughter. It broke my heart. I drove down the mountain (very windy road) with tears streaming non-stop. I was still sobbing when I got on the plane to fly home. I had to keep reminding myself I was doing this for her, not me. She had to learn there were other people in the world besides her and she could not say whatever hateful thing she thought up. I never had to leave a visit again. Her first visit home was an unmitigated disaster. I would have sent her back to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) about 15 minutes after she walked in the door but there wasn't a flight available. She came in and all of the attitude, anger, volatility came in with her. She resented that she couldn't go to the mall or call her friends (against the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) rules for home visits). She resented that she would have chores at home. She resented everything rule and restriction put on her. Considering she had signed a contract prior to the home visit listing all rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and me, her behavior was way over the line. It really was a testing by her to see what she could get away with. It was an eyeopener for me and showed how far she had to go with the program and how little she had actually worked it. When she returned to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she dropped 3 levels because of the vist. It took another 6 months before she could come home again. She was a totally different young lady the second time around. So, do be prepared for anything. He may come home and be as good as gold. He may try to manipulate you (and any family members who come to visit such as your mother) any way he can. Whatever happens, be strong. You'll get as much pain out of the visit as you will joy. It hurts to know your child is in someone else's care, especially during holidays. To know that he will have to return and be away from you is heartwrenching. I think this is even more true for we single parents of only children. We really do put our lives into our one child. I hope this weekend is a good visit. Do have all plans and contingencies in place. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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