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Volunteers Of America....they may help difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 415627" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Having a Payee sounds like the way to go for his own independence. Problem is a bit complex. He is a legal adult at 20 (although his maturity level is way below) and his GFGmom's influence is strong. He loves and trust husband and I but "Mom" has great influence over him. He lived with her for his early years and although he was not abused he was not appropriately attached due to her impulsive choices. We kept him at our home for a few years Sunday night to Friday afternoon so she wouldn't have him going from sitter to sitter. Then...she took him back and left him with a very sorry boyfriend. When she got pg. again He came to live with us full time for a year and a half b/4</p><p>she reclaimed him. That was when she went for disability for him..sigh. After about a year (maybe less) she was evicted and we brought him home permanently...or so we thought. Five or six years</p><p>at our home and all was going well. THEN GFGmom talked him into leaving us and moving in with her and his "little sister". She guaranteed no chaos, swore undying love etc. etc. and he went.</p><p>So he has had three years or so living at her house and "bonding" (which includes subtle hints that he is lucky to have his freedom from our rules etc.). In June she and her boyfriend decided he was a legal adult and found him an apartment, talked easy child/difficult child into moving in to keep an eye on him, and then declared it was time for the two of them and little sister to have a peaceful life. Whew!</p><p> </p><p>He is now back at her house with the threat of being dropped off at the Salvation Army if he does not follow their rules. He is happy as a hog in slop because he is with Mom again. Yikes. The early damage done by way of questionable attachment linger. It's going to <strong>very </strong>tricky trying to get him in a stable environment. If his disability is not reinstated (which could happen with the system) he could get into the one apartment free. I'm sure GFGmom would say GO if no money is coming in.</p><p>What I hope is that he does get his disability, has protection from GFGmom financially, can live with some supports independently....and hopefully be invited to spend the night or at least have dinner with GFGmom on a regular basis. I am like Custer. This is my last stand. Who knows? DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 415627, member: 35"] Having a Payee sounds like the way to go for his own independence. Problem is a bit complex. He is a legal adult at 20 (although his maturity level is way below) and his GFGmom's influence is strong. He loves and trust husband and I but "Mom" has great influence over him. He lived with her for his early years and although he was not abused he was not appropriately attached due to her impulsive choices. We kept him at our home for a few years Sunday night to Friday afternoon so she wouldn't have him going from sitter to sitter. Then...she took him back and left him with a very sorry boyfriend. When she got pg. again He came to live with us full time for a year and a half b/4 she reclaimed him. That was when she went for disability for him..sigh. After about a year (maybe less) she was evicted and we brought him home permanently...or so we thought. Five or six years at our home and all was going well. THEN GFGmom talked him into leaving us and moving in with her and his "little sister". She guaranteed no chaos, swore undying love etc. etc. and he went. So he has had three years or so living at her house and "bonding" (which includes subtle hints that he is lucky to have his freedom from our rules etc.). In June she and her boyfriend decided he was a legal adult and found him an apartment, talked easy child/difficult child into moving in to keep an eye on him, and then declared it was time for the two of them and little sister to have a peaceful life. Whew! He is now back at her house with the threat of being dropped off at the Salvation Army if he does not follow their rules. He is happy as a hog in slop because he is with Mom again. Yikes. The early damage done by way of questionable attachment linger. It's going to [B]very [/B]tricky trying to get him in a stable environment. If his disability is not reinstated (which could happen with the system) he could get into the one apartment free. I'm sure GFGmom would say GO if no money is coming in. What I hope is that he does get his disability, has protection from GFGmom financially, can live with some supports independently....and hopefully be invited to spend the night or at least have dinner with GFGmom on a regular basis. I am like Custer. This is my last stand. Who knows? DDD [/QUOTE]
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