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Parent Emeritus
Volunteers Of America....they may help difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 415821" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>HaoZi, yeah I remember that part of history, lol.</p><p> </p><p>I am not going to war against GFGmom. I am trying, one more time, to advocate for difficult child. The situation is complicated. Once GFGmom got him to move back into her home he, evidently, has expressed negative feelings about me. Those feelings would not have come on his own. Either by subtle means or more active triggering it appears that she has influenced him to see his world as one of choice. Choosing Mom or Choosing Mama. He is always polite, responsive and usually loving when he is with me but....I think he went so long with-o receiving his Mother's loving care that even at 20 he still is trying to "feel it" and get over the feelings of rejection and anger that she displayed over the years. Also (a biggie) she immediately (at 17) began to tell him he was an adult and shouldn't need rules etc like we had in our home. </p><p> </p><p>His needs are not being met appropriately in her home. He has the threat of being "dropped off at the Salvation Army" if he doesn't follow their rules. He is too far away from town to seek work opportunities and his socialization is with younger teens on her block who also have dysfunctional environments. I want him to know that he may have a viable choice of lifestyle that will allow him socialization opportunities, extra money after meeting his debts and placing a percentage in savings, and very easy access to his job coach who has her office at the apartment complex. Once he understands these choices...then he is the one that decides. We'll see. At least he will have had a chance. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 415821, member: 35"] HaoZi, yeah I remember that part of history, lol. I am not going to war against GFGmom. I am trying, one more time, to advocate for difficult child. The situation is complicated. Once GFGmom got him to move back into her home he, evidently, has expressed negative feelings about me. Those feelings would not have come on his own. Either by subtle means or more active triggering it appears that she has influenced him to see his world as one of choice. Choosing Mom or Choosing Mama. He is always polite, responsive and usually loving when he is with me but....I think he went so long with-o receiving his Mother's loving care that even at 20 he still is trying to "feel it" and get over the feelings of rejection and anger that she displayed over the years. Also (a biggie) she immediately (at 17) began to tell him he was an adult and shouldn't need rules etc like we had in our home. His needs are not being met appropriately in her home. He has the threat of being "dropped off at the Salvation Army" if he doesn't follow their rules. He is too far away from town to seek work opportunities and his socialization is with younger teens on her block who also have dysfunctional environments. I want him to know that he may have a viable choice of lifestyle that will allow him socialization opportunities, extra money after meeting his debts and placing a percentage in savings, and very easy access to his job coach who has her office at the apartment complex. Once he understands these choices...then he is the one that decides. We'll see. At least he will have had a chance. DDD [/QUOTE]
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