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Family of Origin
Walking down Memory Lane
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 669658" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I'm not sure exactly, Copa. It has something to do with working into the living parts of me, the parts that were/are ashamed. It's as though I have accepted what is, but left some of me out in the coldness.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, it is a process like that, Copa. We accept a little at a time.</p><p></p><p>It is very hard to give up a dream. Or to accept that this is the dream and not judge ourselves for how different it looks than we believed it would.</p><p></p><p>I think what it is, is that we are so certain of the dream, when the kids are little. We don't even question it. So, it's like there is a template of a future that never was, but when I get to that age, or to that place in my life (like becoming a grandmother) one of the hardest things is to accept what is and feel gratitude. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a good way to see. Even if I cannot name the meaning, believing there is meaning can surely enable a higher, more caring response. We post on P.E. sometimes that learning how to love a Gift from God child requires a whole different understanding of what loving a child is.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to see it this way.</p><p></p><p>Then, I can see myself in process, and not as having failed at something so important to me. </p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>We are preparing to leave, everyone. Time is short, and I cannot post at my usual length. I appreciate each of you for sticking with me through them. It matters very much to me, that you do; that we witness for one another, here. So, just to let everyone know my postings for the next few days will be sporadic and then, I will be offline for a week or so.</p><p></p><p>Take care, everyone, and I will do the same.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 669658, member: 17461"] I'm not sure exactly, Copa. It has something to do with working into the living parts of me, the parts that were/are ashamed. It's as though I have accepted what is, but left some of me out in the coldness. Maybe, it is a process like that, Copa. We accept a little at a time. It is very hard to give up a dream. Or to accept that this is the dream and not judge ourselves for how different it looks than we believed it would. I think what it is, is that we are so certain of the dream, when the kids are little. We don't even question it. So, it's like there is a template of a future that never was, but when I get to that age, or to that place in my life (like becoming a grandmother) one of the hardest things is to accept what is and feel gratitude. This is a good way to see. Even if I cannot name the meaning, believing there is meaning can surely enable a higher, more caring response. We post on P.E. sometimes that learning how to love a Gift from God child requires a whole different understanding of what loving a child is. It helps me to see it this way. Then, I can see myself in process, and not as having failed at something so important to me. *** We are preparing to leave, everyone. Time is short, and I cannot post at my usual length. I appreciate each of you for sticking with me through them. It matters very much to me, that you do; that we witness for one another, here. So, just to let everyone know my postings for the next few days will be sporadic and then, I will be offline for a week or so. Take care, everyone, and I will do the same. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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