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General Parenting
Want to Avoid a Violent Scene....Any ideas?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 302183" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I know. Their thinking is so convoluted. It's always our fault.</p><p> </p><p>I agree with-the doctor, to stand firm and tell her to cut it out. You have to make her more miserable than she would normally be, if that makes sense. So you're teaching her avoidance of her own bad behavior.</p><p>It will take a while. Days, weeks.</p><p>Sometimes when I had to confront difficult child like that, I would prepare myself as though I were going onto a tennis court to win a hard game. A lot of the same thought processes and physiological effects go on and, hey, every little bit helps!</p><p> </p><p>When she's calm, ask her where these things are coming from and if the reason she likes them is because they are things she's not normally allowed to have, or whether she's trying to emulate the person she took them from. Maybe the person who originally owned the makeup was prettier, funnier, somehow cooler than difficult child. Maybe you could start out by telling her about a time that you wanted to be like a classmate.</p><p>Finding a way to do it with-o making her go ballistic is hard.</p><p> </p><p>Now, all I have to do with-my difficult child is say, "We have to talk."</p><p> </p><p>He knows it's not going to be a chat about the weather. He'll do anything he can to dive in and get it overwith. So I have to be careful not to drag it out and talk it to death.</p><p> </p><p>Don't forget, your difficult child is probably going through the child-in-a-woman's body issue right now. Her emotional age may be more like 10. So don't expect too much maturity at this point. If she's like my difficult child, the maturity comes in flashes, then disappears just as quickly. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Best of luck. been there done that. I feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 302183, member: 3419"] I know. Their thinking is so convoluted. It's always our fault. I agree with-the doctor, to stand firm and tell her to cut it out. You have to make her more miserable than she would normally be, if that makes sense. So you're teaching her avoidance of her own bad behavior. It will take a while. Days, weeks. Sometimes when I had to confront difficult child like that, I would prepare myself as though I were going onto a tennis court to win a hard game. A lot of the same thought processes and physiological effects go on and, hey, every little bit helps! When she's calm, ask her where these things are coming from and if the reason she likes them is because they are things she's not normally allowed to have, or whether she's trying to emulate the person she took them from. Maybe the person who originally owned the makeup was prettier, funnier, somehow cooler than difficult child. Maybe you could start out by telling her about a time that you wanted to be like a classmate. Finding a way to do it with-o making her go ballistic is hard. Now, all I have to do with-my difficult child is say, "We have to talk." He knows it's not going to be a chat about the weather. He'll do anything he can to dive in and get it overwith. So I have to be careful not to drag it out and talk it to death. Don't forget, your difficult child is probably going through the child-in-a-woman's body issue right now. Her emotional age may be more like 10. So don't expect too much maturity at this point. If she's like my difficult child, the maturity comes in flashes, then disappears just as quickly. :) Best of luck. been there done that. I feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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