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Want to pose a question for you..(philosophical)
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 252723" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi Janet, </p><p>Interesting thread...</p><p></p><p>I AM very proud of my easy child. She, against the odds (having 2 older difficult child brothers) has avoided the drug scene, does well in school, is well behaved-even tempered, is liked by many...and most of all she is a very loving, thoughtful, kind human being. </p><p>After all the saddness and despair while raising her 2 difficult child brothers it is so refreshing for someone to know or have heard of my daughters name and attach something positive to it. </p><p>I was very shamed by my difficult child's behaviors...expulsion hearing in school for older difficult child, arrest at school, getting kicked kicked out of main stream school and sent to alternative. Police always at our door...drama drama drama and Drugs. </p><p></p><p>easy child has been the light in husband's and my lives...as if to say "You must have done something right". Though I must admit...sometimes I think easy child's avoidance of negatives and determination to do the next right thing...much of it came in spite of her brothers behaviors. In a way I think she was fortunate to be last in line of our children...to see all the mistakes her brothers made. </p><p></p><p>I DO believe in the genetic factor. Oldest difficult child is a risk taker and a charming leader...who has had a serious drug problem in the past. He takes after husband...and husband's past. Young difficult child is the spitting image of my bio dad who I did not meat til I was 17 and he is an excuse making alcoholic...very immature, always blaming someone else for the problems he creates. Young difficult child is very much like this and is currently struggling with alcohol. </p><p>easy child was a very calm and loving child...I would say very "accepting" of any situation. I think it is a combination of many things that has contributed to the wonderful young lady she is today. I also want to add that my husband is her high school bowling coach and easy child is the captain of her team and it looks very much like she will have several college bowling coaches looking her direction this next year for a full ride scholarship. I give husband alot of the credit for being such a wonderful guidance to her in her bowling pursuits. </p><p></p><p>I do want to say that I think I failed the difficult child's by being their doormat when they were young, before the teen years hit. I did EVERYthing for them, felt it was my job as a good parent...boy was I wrong. I set us up for very unappreciate, disrespectful difficult child's. And...both of them struggle now as grown ups, doing things on their own is still difficult for them. </p><p></p><p>Al Anon taught me alot about the things I've done right and wrong. </p><p>But, none of my kids are finished yet. I really don't see their lives "set in stone" til they hit 24/25 years old...that is when the reality of their adult choices will be cemented in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for bringing this topic up it does cause me to take pause and recognise several factors that have been involved in who my children are. </p><p>by the way, I do want to say too that I AM proud of my difficult child's for continuing to "try". So far they have not given up in life, even though they have threatend it at times along the way. And, they do know right from wrong...cause and effect, lol, they're still working on. </p><p></p><p>Tammy/lms</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 252723, member: 3305"] Hi Janet, Interesting thread... I AM very proud of my easy child. She, against the odds (having 2 older difficult child brothers) has avoided the drug scene, does well in school, is well behaved-even tempered, is liked by many...and most of all she is a very loving, thoughtful, kind human being. After all the saddness and despair while raising her 2 difficult child brothers it is so refreshing for someone to know or have heard of my daughters name and attach something positive to it. I was very shamed by my difficult child's behaviors...expulsion hearing in school for older difficult child, arrest at school, getting kicked kicked out of main stream school and sent to alternative. Police always at our door...drama drama drama and Drugs. easy child has been the light in husband's and my lives...as if to say "You must have done something right". Though I must admit...sometimes I think easy child's avoidance of negatives and determination to do the next right thing...much of it came in spite of her brothers behaviors. In a way I think she was fortunate to be last in line of our children...to see all the mistakes her brothers made. I DO believe in the genetic factor. Oldest difficult child is a risk taker and a charming leader...who has had a serious drug problem in the past. He takes after husband...and husband's past. Young difficult child is the spitting image of my bio dad who I did not meat til I was 17 and he is an excuse making alcoholic...very immature, always blaming someone else for the problems he creates. Young difficult child is very much like this and is currently struggling with alcohol. easy child was a very calm and loving child...I would say very "accepting" of any situation. I think it is a combination of many things that has contributed to the wonderful young lady she is today. I also want to add that my husband is her high school bowling coach and easy child is the captain of her team and it looks very much like she will have several college bowling coaches looking her direction this next year for a full ride scholarship. I give husband alot of the credit for being such a wonderful guidance to her in her bowling pursuits. I do want to say that I think I failed the difficult child's by being their doormat when they were young, before the teen years hit. I did EVERYthing for them, felt it was my job as a good parent...boy was I wrong. I set us up for very unappreciate, disrespectful difficult child's. And...both of them struggle now as grown ups, doing things on their own is still difficult for them. Al Anon taught me alot about the things I've done right and wrong. But, none of my kids are finished yet. I really don't see their lives "set in stone" til they hit 24/25 years old...that is when the reality of their adult choices will be cemented in my opinion. Thanks for bringing this topic up it does cause me to take pause and recognise several factors that have been involved in who my children are. by the way, I do want to say too that I AM proud of my difficult child's for continuing to "try". So far they have not given up in life, even though they have threatend it at times along the way. And, they do know right from wrong...cause and effect, lol, they're still working on. Tammy/lms [/QUOTE]
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