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General Parenting
War in my house at 2 am....
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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 203756" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>I have to agree with Janet. I am also in NY state and we had a PINS on my difficult child 1. I would have a curfew of around 10pm and then when she doesn't come home you have to report her missing to the police. When my difficult child was 17 she was spending most of her time in our downtown area with the homeless and drugging kids. The only thing I could do was keep reporting her missing and letting her hang herself so to speak. I had warned her about the consequences--that according to NY law I had to know where she was and had to report her missing if I didn't know where she was or she did not have permission to be gone from the house. It took awhile for the consequences to finally hit, but eventually the police realized we were parents who cared and they began actively looking for her and picked her up and took her to the juvie. She was then court ordered to attend a dual rehab facility over by Poughkeepsie.</p><p></p><p>I did not get emotional, I simply told her what would eventually happen if she continued her behavior. With a PINS she had a probation officer whom she had to report to and whom I reported to. She disobeyed every single part of her contract with the probation officer--that speeded things up!</p><p></p><p>You really do need to get family court or someone involved here. You are not able to keep her safe. That is what got us the PINS--it was obvious we were good, caring parents but we could not keep our dtr safe. </p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 203756, member: 3208"] I have to agree with Janet. I am also in NY state and we had a PINS on my difficult child 1. I would have a curfew of around 10pm and then when she doesn't come home you have to report her missing to the police. When my difficult child was 17 she was spending most of her time in our downtown area with the homeless and drugging kids. The only thing I could do was keep reporting her missing and letting her hang herself so to speak. I had warned her about the consequences--that according to NY law I had to know where she was and had to report her missing if I didn't know where she was or she did not have permission to be gone from the house. It took awhile for the consequences to finally hit, but eventually the police realized we were parents who cared and they began actively looking for her and picked her up and took her to the juvie. She was then court ordered to attend a dual rehab facility over by Poughkeepsie. I did not get emotional, I simply told her what would eventually happen if she continued her behavior. With a PINS she had a probation officer whom she had to report to and whom I reported to. She disobeyed every single part of her contract with the probation officer--that speeded things up! You really do need to get family court or someone involved here. You are not able to keep her safe. That is what got us the PINS--it was obvious we were good, caring parents but we could not keep our dtr safe. Jane [/QUOTE]
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War in my house at 2 am....
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