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Substance Abuse
Was told we should not shame the alcoholic?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 739217" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As hard as this is to believe, and I remember, its not personal or about him hurting you or anything to do with you. Alcoholism causes brain changes. Hr isnt trying to hurt you except in the way of using you to fund his habit which is what matters most to him now.</p><p></p><p>I think Elsi gave you lots of great ways to talk to him. Whether he talks to you or Dad doesn matter. Talking doesnt matter....addicts lie. Mine did. And she tricked me by lying while she.looked me in the eyes. She made me believe she did only pot until i found her doimg pills in my house with her friends.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I didnt get the real story until she quit for real. It was meth and cocaine and she stopped that. I didnt expect it. She never let us know anything until she quit. A no rehab quit. If he wants to quit, he will. Just remember it is not</p><p>about you. And he knows how to quit, how to make money, eveeything.</p><p></p><p>If he mentions suicide call 911. You dont know how to deal with that. Professionals do.</p><p></p><p>I gently ask you to remember that you didnt cause it, you cant control it and tou cant cure it. Let him talk to your husband. You probably didnt hurt him as much as make him angry because you wouldnt do what he wants so he tried Dad. Dont make his illness about you. If he had epilepsy you wouldnt make it personal. This isnt perspnal either. His words may hurt but he is tryong to get you to help his addiction. Nothing more or less. Alcohol is what he cares about right in this moment.</p><p></p><p>Love and.light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 739217, member: 1550"] As hard as this is to believe, and I remember, its not personal or about him hurting you or anything to do with you. Alcoholism causes brain changes. Hr isnt trying to hurt you except in the way of using you to fund his habit which is what matters most to him now. I think Elsi gave you lots of great ways to talk to him. Whether he talks to you or Dad doesn matter. Talking doesnt matter....addicts lie. Mine did. And she tricked me by lying while she.looked me in the eyes. She made me believe she did only pot until i found her doimg pills in my house with her friends. I didnt get the real story until she quit for real. It was meth and cocaine and she stopped that. I didnt expect it. She never let us know anything until she quit. A no rehab quit. If he wants to quit, he will. Just remember it is not about you. And he knows how to quit, how to make money, eveeything. If he mentions suicide call 911. You dont know how to deal with that. Professionals do. I gently ask you to remember that you didnt cause it, you cant control it and tou cant cure it. Let him talk to your husband. You probably didnt hurt him as much as make him angry because you wouldnt do what he wants so he tried Dad. Dont make his illness about you. If he had epilepsy you wouldnt make it personal. This isnt perspnal either. His words may hurt but he is tryong to get you to help his addiction. Nothing more or less. Alcohol is what he cares about right in this moment. Love and.light! [/QUOTE]
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Was told we should not shame the alcoholic?
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