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<blockquote data-quote="aninom" data-source="post: 328653" data-attributes="member: 8513"><p>ML, I know where you're coming from. Knowing theoretically that you are doing the right thing by setting this boundary is a world away from feeling good about it, but you are in the right! </p><p> </p><p>Not only are you dealing with difficult child, you are also dealing with all the feelings that come from having to deal - but you have no reason whatsoever to feel bad: and know that resentment, in this situation, is fully understandable. Feeling resentment towards this behavior, this feeling of siege in your own home, is not somehow mutually exclusive to loving difficult child or doing the right thing by kicking him out. Making him understand the situation is not tenable, not good for neither him nor you, is the BEST thing you can do for BOTH of you. Don't let guilt get in the way of following through on a sane, positive, rational, at the bottom CARING decision!</p><p> </p><p>I'm sending strength your way. How to say no and how not to say something out of resentment, I know that feeling - I have no solution, being in the exact same struggle myself, but I do know that the moment I knew I had an exit strategy - that I would be setting physical distance between myself and difficult child in a few hours, that soon the situation would be very different - somehow I found the calm I needed to see those last hours through. Maybe you can use the same trick: no, he is not gone yet, but it is not too far away! And it WILL pass; so it is all about dealing with the moments until then while looking forward to when they're gone. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aninom, post: 328653, member: 8513"] ML, I know where you're coming from. Knowing theoretically that you are doing the right thing by setting this boundary is a world away from feeling good about it, but you are in the right! Not only are you dealing with difficult child, you are also dealing with all the feelings that come from having to deal - but you have no reason whatsoever to feel bad: and know that resentment, in this situation, is fully understandable. Feeling resentment towards this behavior, this feeling of siege in your own home, is not somehow mutually exclusive to loving difficult child or doing the right thing by kicking him out. Making him understand the situation is not tenable, not good for neither him nor you, is the BEST thing you can do for BOTH of you. Don't let guilt get in the way of following through on a sane, positive, rational, at the bottom CARING decision! I'm sending strength your way. How to say no and how not to say something out of resentment, I know that feeling - I have no solution, being in the exact same struggle myself, but I do know that the moment I knew I had an exit strategy - that I would be setting physical distance between myself and difficult child in a few hours, that soon the situation would be very different - somehow I found the calm I needed to see those last hours through. Maybe you can use the same trick: no, he is not gone yet, but it is not too far away! And it WILL pass; so it is all about dealing with the moments until then while looking forward to when they're gone. Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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