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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
We have talked about the balance of enabling vs helping
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 689881" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>So we did a reading the other night at our Alanon group that I find really helpful and gave me clarity. It is out of the book "Courage to Change" by Al-anon family groups. I thought I would share it here.</p><p></p><p>"I thought if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still the tying to control alcoholism and its symptoms. Al-Anon helped me to learn that I am powerless. I cannot stop an alcoholic from drinking. If I choose to stop contributing to the problem, I do so because it seems to be the right thing to do, something that will help me feel better about myself.</p><p> When I change my behavior, the behavior of those around me may also change, but there is not guarantee that it will change to my liking. Today I am learning to make choices because they are good for me, not because of the effect they might have on others."</p><p></p><p>This was helpful to me as my son starts on a path that I am very unsure about.... However I have to let him go and figure it out and love him in the process.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 689881, member: 15801"] So we did a reading the other night at our Alanon group that I find really helpful and gave me clarity. It is out of the book "Courage to Change" by Al-anon family groups. I thought I would share it here. "I thought if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still the tying to control alcoholism and its symptoms. Al-Anon helped me to learn that I am powerless. I cannot stop an alcoholic from drinking. If I choose to stop contributing to the problem, I do so because it seems to be the right thing to do, something that will help me feel better about myself. When I change my behavior, the behavior of those around me may also change, but there is not guarantee that it will change to my liking. Today I am learning to make choices because they are good for me, not because of the effect they might have on others." This was helpful to me as my son starts on a path that I am very unsure about.... However I have to let him go and figure it out and love him in the process. TL [/QUOTE]
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We have talked about the balance of enabling vs helping
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