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Substance Abuse
We just found out my (maybe) recovering addicted stepchild has been stealing from us
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 648742" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I clearly remember the day I opened my son's car trunk and saw all kinds of things from my garage in there, plus items from my jewelry box.</p><p></p><p>It was awful.</p><p></p><p>More pain on top of pain. </p><p></p><p>My ex-husband kept enabling my son until the day he came home from work---my son was living with him at the time and had gotten arrested that day for something else---and saw his sports cards collection spread all over the upstairs and my son's laptop open to a site that provided pricing on the cards. </p><p></p><p>That was an important day for my ex-husband. He came face to face with the physical evidence of it, just like I did.</p><p></p><p>He didn't speak to my son for a year (which, by the way, I thought was the wrong response, but whatever...)</p><p></p><p>Anyway, you can't allow someone to live with you who is stealing from you. That is a black and white deal breaker. </p><p></p><p>The day I discovered it in my home---yes, I was giving him yet another chance just like you were doing---my SO and I went to Home Depot and bought new key locks and door slide locks---me crying the entire time. It was awful. It was surreal, that my own child would steal from me.</p><p></p><p>Then---even after I told him no more---guess what he did? He found the one keypad we hadn't changed on our double garage doors and got in that way.</p><p></p><p>Drug addicts have no pride and will do whatever they can do to get what they need to sell for more drugs. It isn't personal. </p><p></p><p>And they will lie to your face as you literally catch them with the stuff in their pockets. Oh, they were just looking at it, and forgot to put it back. yada, yada, yada.</p><p></p><p>I have heard every excuse in the book over the past five years.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean it isn't painful when you are going through it all. I so remember the pain and it is immense.</p><p></p><p>I hope and pray her dad---your husband---had enough of the physical evidence in his face to stand firm. It's hard to do, early on. It gets easier as it happens over and over again.</p><p></p><p>I also believe adult children, especially difficult children, should only live with us for very short periods of time, whether in recovery or not. It just isn't a good thing to have our own adult children in our homes for extended periods of time, whether they are healthy or not.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Stand firm. Just tell her she has to find another place to live, today. No discussion. </p><p></p><p>Maybe she will hit a bottom and start her recovery all over again. I hope so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 648742, member: 17542"] I clearly remember the day I opened my son's car trunk and saw all kinds of things from my garage in there, plus items from my jewelry box. It was awful. More pain on top of pain. My ex-husband kept enabling my son until the day he came home from work---my son was living with him at the time and had gotten arrested that day for something else---and saw his sports cards collection spread all over the upstairs and my son's laptop open to a site that provided pricing on the cards. That was an important day for my ex-husband. He came face to face with the physical evidence of it, just like I did. He didn't speak to my son for a year (which, by the way, I thought was the wrong response, but whatever...) Anyway, you can't allow someone to live with you who is stealing from you. That is a black and white deal breaker. The day I discovered it in my home---yes, I was giving him yet another chance just like you were doing---my SO and I went to Home Depot and bought new key locks and door slide locks---me crying the entire time. It was awful. It was surreal, that my own child would steal from me. Then---even after I told him no more---guess what he did? He found the one keypad we hadn't changed on our double garage doors and got in that way. Drug addicts have no pride and will do whatever they can do to get what they need to sell for more drugs. It isn't personal. And they will lie to your face as you literally catch them with the stuff in their pockets. Oh, they were just looking at it, and forgot to put it back. yada, yada, yada. I have heard every excuse in the book over the past five years. It doesn't mean it isn't painful when you are going through it all. I so remember the pain and it is immense. I hope and pray her dad---your husband---had enough of the physical evidence in his face to stand firm. It's hard to do, early on. It gets easier as it happens over and over again. I also believe adult children, especially difficult children, should only live with us for very short periods of time, whether in recovery or not. It just isn't a good thing to have our own adult children in our homes for extended periods of time, whether they are healthy or not. Hang in there. Stand firm. Just tell her she has to find another place to live, today. No discussion. Maybe she will hit a bottom and start her recovery all over again. I hope so. [/QUOTE]
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We just found out my (maybe) recovering addicted stepchild has been stealing from us
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