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I had forgotten that thread. I was writing about another time. Unfortunately, what I wrote about myself, fits again. The wanting to make it better. The wanting to take away the pain and fear. And what did that do? It made you feel as if I was shutting you up, judging you when nothing could be further from my intent.  I was searching for more moderate ways to understand what was happening with Kay, as a means of reassuring you, not to minimize your fear or suffering. I recognize I made you feel worse, by not hearing your pain.


I am so very sorry.  Everybody's suffering here is important. Nobody's hurt or fear should be minimized. Anybody who causes pain and suffering should be called out.


I agree with ksm. Which is not to minimize in any way your complaint about me. There was somebody on that thread that began to make polarizing statements about vaccines, politically inflammatory statements to exacerbate conflict. What you wrote about Busy, is what we all write about, which is the off the wall behavior of our children, and our fear, frustration or anger in reaction to such behavior. Everybody who commented on that thread understood your experience and empathized with how you felt. Including me.


Unfortunately, you heard what I wrote as judgemental. I was not judging. I was trying to be kind. In my stupid way. You heard me as trying to shut you up.  And then heard the comments that came afterward as directed towards you, when they were not. I am so very sorry. I bet if you go back and look at the thread you will see it in another way.


I don't think anybody who posts here now posts with ill will. I think there can be insensitivity, but however wrong and bad, that is not intentional, I don't think. People can learn, if they are confronted gently, and given room to try again.  Of course, there are always personalities that don't mesh. Maybe you react to my voice, for example, like fingernails on a chalkboard. But thing is, at heart, we are the same. At heart, our pain is the same. At heart, our experience is even the same. The more we post the more these commonalities carry the day and they will blot out the differences.  I believe that.


As a result of this thread, I will come back again and begin posting more.  We need each other. None of us feels the support in our lives from most others around us, however loving and caring, just don't get it.


Thank you Busy and everybody.


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