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Wedding Planning Tips Please
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 521445" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>We ignored many of the traditional rules. I would say go with what you, difficult child and E, and his mom are comfortable with. I left out your H and E's dad because normally dads don't say much about weddings. if there is a tradition that difficult child hates, skip it. </p><p></p><p>I freaked my maid of honor out by telling her to wear what she liked and looked good in - no specific color or style, just 'a dress would be nice but if you have a pants outfit you like that is okay". I didn't really care what she wore and wasn't wearing a traditional white dress anyway (pink and green tulip patterned skirt and top, for reception wore the top and companion print shorts - outfit made by my mom, of course, lol!) </p><p></p><p>How formal does she want the reception to be? I have seen backyard receptions that were very formal, and that were very informal. mine was informal. husband agreed to wear a suit jacket to the wedding if he could wear shorts and a tie dyed shirt to the reception. His jerk of a best friend was best man and agreed to leave his dog at home for the ceremony if he could bring him to the reception. I didn't like the badly mannered golden retriever but agreed because husband adored the idiot dog (he was the stupidest dog in the world, totally incapable of learning anything, and they thought his awful manners were cute). </p><p></p><p>go and look at the tent BEFORE you buy everything for the reception!!! the only tents available to rent in our town at the time of my wedding were BRIGHT YELLOW. So instead of the colors we planned, we went with primary colors. the ones we had planned looked awful with the tent. We found a bunch of cheap beach balls in red, blue and yellow and hung them with balloons, we covered the tables wtih long sheets of white paper and put crayons and markers out. Instead of a sign-in book we had a piece of white canvas that i hemmed into a tablecloth. I put sharpies on the table and everyone signed it. At every birthday party and holiday party and special event I put the tablecloth out and people sign it. at the time of my wedding people thought it was weird and even "awful" but by the time of Wiz' second birthday we had a lot of friends and relatives doing the same thing. If you want it to be fancier, have them use washable markers and embroider each signature before the cloth is washed. it s a labor of love because it can take a long time to embroider them all.</p><p></p><p>Talk with the groom's mom about placement of things and what they are willing/able to do and what they really don't want to do. Be polite but honest. if there is something that difficult child really wants taht the groom's mom doesn't, that is difficult child's job to negotiate, not yours. Remember that it is difficult child's wedding to arrange. You are there to HELP, but not to do it. Of course you should talk with E's mom, but if she is adamantly opposed to something that difficult child and E want, then you should stay out of it.</p><p></p><p>As for who pays for what? difficult child and E need to figure most of that out and tell you. You and need to tell difficult child NOW what/how much you are willing to pay and stick to that. in your case i would talk to your exH and let him know how much you are expecting him to pay if he wants the proud papa role, but be SURE that difficult child will support you if he calls and cries to her. He will probably want some control over how the money is spent,so be prepared for those strings. negotiate them now, and put any agreement into writing, and get the $ from him before commitments are made to spend that money.</p><p></p><p>For centerpieces, consider making them. one of my cousin's had a very formal wedding (years ago) and they had amazing looking centerpieces. my aunt made them and the bride's mom was shocked when she learned that they were tuna cans covered in fabric and ribbon with fancy glass lamp tops on them and silk flowers arranged around them. the guests all speculated on how much they cost (about $5 each, nowhere near what people thought) and clamored to take them home. they were truly beautiful. I was 11 or 12 and remember all the fancy looking ladies speculating how much they cost and asking where they bought them. i thought it was funny because I helped put them together the day before, but was sworn to secrecy. I even had two ladies offer me $ to tell them where they got them and how much they cost. I told my uncle and aunt and they topped the offer, so i made about $30 for keeping my mouth shut - which is why I remember it so well, lol. Yes, I DO have a funny family and this was the time of conspicuous consumption.</p><p></p><p>If difficult child doesn't have a book with the deadlines of when to do/arrange/schedule what, it would be a good thing to have. there are a LOT of things you can do to keep costs way down, and I recommend them. having as little booze as possible is a huge way to cut costs. I have a super easy punch recipe that you can add champagne to if desired, but it is great with-o it. It also goes with ANY color you want - you mix 1 can frozen juice concentrate with 1 2liter bottle of sprite/7up (the store brand is fine). If you want pink punch then use strawberry or raspberry or cherry, if you want yellow then use peach and/or white grape and if you want purple then use purple grape juice. You can add sherbet if you want, or champagne, but it is fine with-o them.</p><p></p><p>The mportant thing is that it is what the bride and groom want. You can pick which traditions are important to you, just be sure to communicate clearly with everyone. </p><p></p><p>this will sound strange, but is a HUGe help with communication. Go to the office supply area of walmart and get some 3 part order pads, the kind for waitresses. When you are talking to difficult child and the groom's mom, write what you decide or need or want on those. each of you gets a copy and then you each know exactly what was said/decided/arranged and who is supposed to do it. It makes a HUGE impact on reducing confusion and upset caused by miscommunication and forgetfulness. i know it soundds strange and you could just email, but this is something you can see and touch.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 521445, member: 1233"] We ignored many of the traditional rules. I would say go with what you, difficult child and E, and his mom are comfortable with. I left out your H and E's dad because normally dads don't say much about weddings. if there is a tradition that difficult child hates, skip it. I freaked my maid of honor out by telling her to wear what she liked and looked good in - no specific color or style, just 'a dress would be nice but if you have a pants outfit you like that is okay". I didn't really care what she wore and wasn't wearing a traditional white dress anyway (pink and green tulip patterned skirt and top, for reception wore the top and companion print shorts - outfit made by my mom, of course, lol!) How formal does she want the reception to be? I have seen backyard receptions that were very formal, and that were very informal. mine was informal. husband agreed to wear a suit jacket to the wedding if he could wear shorts and a tie dyed shirt to the reception. His jerk of a best friend was best man and agreed to leave his dog at home for the ceremony if he could bring him to the reception. I didn't like the badly mannered golden retriever but agreed because husband adored the idiot dog (he was the stupidest dog in the world, totally incapable of learning anything, and they thought his awful manners were cute). go and look at the tent BEFORE you buy everything for the reception!!! the only tents available to rent in our town at the time of my wedding were BRIGHT YELLOW. So instead of the colors we planned, we went with primary colors. the ones we had planned looked awful with the tent. We found a bunch of cheap beach balls in red, blue and yellow and hung them with balloons, we covered the tables wtih long sheets of white paper and put crayons and markers out. Instead of a sign-in book we had a piece of white canvas that i hemmed into a tablecloth. I put sharpies on the table and everyone signed it. At every birthday party and holiday party and special event I put the tablecloth out and people sign it. at the time of my wedding people thought it was weird and even "awful" but by the time of Wiz' second birthday we had a lot of friends and relatives doing the same thing. If you want it to be fancier, have them use washable markers and embroider each signature before the cloth is washed. it s a labor of love because it can take a long time to embroider them all. Talk with the groom's mom about placement of things and what they are willing/able to do and what they really don't want to do. Be polite but honest. if there is something that difficult child really wants taht the groom's mom doesn't, that is difficult child's job to negotiate, not yours. Remember that it is difficult child's wedding to arrange. You are there to HELP, but not to do it. Of course you should talk with E's mom, but if she is adamantly opposed to something that difficult child and E want, then you should stay out of it. As for who pays for what? difficult child and E need to figure most of that out and tell you. You and need to tell difficult child NOW what/how much you are willing to pay and stick to that. in your case i would talk to your exH and let him know how much you are expecting him to pay if he wants the proud papa role, but be SURE that difficult child will support you if he calls and cries to her. He will probably want some control over how the money is spent,so be prepared for those strings. negotiate them now, and put any agreement into writing, and get the $ from him before commitments are made to spend that money. For centerpieces, consider making them. one of my cousin's had a very formal wedding (years ago) and they had amazing looking centerpieces. my aunt made them and the bride's mom was shocked when she learned that they were tuna cans covered in fabric and ribbon with fancy glass lamp tops on them and silk flowers arranged around them. the guests all speculated on how much they cost (about $5 each, nowhere near what people thought) and clamored to take them home. they were truly beautiful. I was 11 or 12 and remember all the fancy looking ladies speculating how much they cost and asking where they bought them. i thought it was funny because I helped put them together the day before, but was sworn to secrecy. I even had two ladies offer me $ to tell them where they got them and how much they cost. I told my uncle and aunt and they topped the offer, so i made about $30 for keeping my mouth shut - which is why I remember it so well, lol. Yes, I DO have a funny family and this was the time of conspicuous consumption. If difficult child doesn't have a book with the deadlines of when to do/arrange/schedule what, it would be a good thing to have. there are a LOT of things you can do to keep costs way down, and I recommend them. having as little booze as possible is a huge way to cut costs. I have a super easy punch recipe that you can add champagne to if desired, but it is great with-o it. It also goes with ANY color you want - you mix 1 can frozen juice concentrate with 1 2liter bottle of sprite/7up (the store brand is fine). If you want pink punch then use strawberry or raspberry or cherry, if you want yellow then use peach and/or white grape and if you want purple then use purple grape juice. You can add sherbet if you want, or champagne, but it is fine with-o them. The mportant thing is that it is what the bride and groom want. You can pick which traditions are important to you, just be sure to communicate clearly with everyone. this will sound strange, but is a HUGe help with communication. Go to the office supply area of walmart and get some 3 part order pads, the kind for waitresses. When you are talking to difficult child and the groom's mom, write what you decide or need or want on those. each of you gets a copy and then you each know exactly what was said/decided/arranged and who is supposed to do it. It makes a HUGE impact on reducing confusion and upset caused by miscommunication and forgetfulness. i know it soundds strange and you could just email, but this is something you can see and touch. [/QUOTE]
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