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Parent Emeritus
Well, here I am, almost at breaking point - son aged 30
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 702896" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Belle. I am so sorry. </p><p>I too have hidden in my own house. It is no way to live in a place that's should be our sanctuary. In that moment I just didn't know what else to do. You have obviously gone over and above to try to get him help. There is a point, even with his limitations, that HE has to comply and want that assistance. A counselor told us once that our son did know right from wrong and that was where the line was. He continues to choose "wrong" for whatever reason. Is it easier? Unfortunately, drugs and alcohol can trump everything else.</p><p></p><p>I believe you are stronger than you think and you handled this well. He is an adult and he has no right to bring his "mess" to your home. You have every right not to tolerate it. It helped me to read article on detachment on the top of parent emeritus.</p><p>This too is where we ended up last February. We had called police few times in the past and our son believed we would do it again. After that he showed up to try again, with me answering the door with "do I need to call police?" Finally, he has realized he was welcome only if invited and never again to stay overnight. Is our son better? No. He gets evicted again this week and I'm so aware it is cold outside. But he chooses not to take assistance if there's any expectation of effort on his part. He would gladly take a handout though. </p><p>Yes, as a mom, it tears out my heart. I think, "who lives like this?" On this forum, I have found many others do. We are not bragging about it on social media, we avert our eyes when we see families that seemed to have made it through unscathed. I am trying to get over this. It has helped us to get therapy, go to alanon and mental health family support groups. Today, you made a start by posting here. We get it. Hugs for your hurting heart. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 702896, member: 20054"] Hi Belle. I am so sorry. I too have hidden in my own house. It is no way to live in a place that's should be our sanctuary. In that moment I just didn't know what else to do. You have obviously gone over and above to try to get him help. There is a point, even with his limitations, that HE has to comply and want that assistance. A counselor told us once that our son did know right from wrong and that was where the line was. He continues to choose "wrong" for whatever reason. Is it easier? Unfortunately, drugs and alcohol can trump everything else. I believe you are stronger than you think and you handled this well. He is an adult and he has no right to bring his "mess" to your home. You have every right not to tolerate it. It helped me to read article on detachment on the top of parent emeritus. This too is where we ended up last February. We had called police few times in the past and our son believed we would do it again. After that he showed up to try again, with me answering the door with "do I need to call police?" Finally, he has realized he was welcome only if invited and never again to stay overnight. Is our son better? No. He gets evicted again this week and I'm so aware it is cold outside. But he chooses not to take assistance if there's any expectation of effort on his part. He would gladly take a handout though. Yes, as a mom, it tears out my heart. I think, "who lives like this?" On this forum, I have found many others do. We are not bragging about it on social media, we avert our eyes when we see families that seemed to have made it through unscathed. I am trying to get over this. It has helped us to get therapy, go to alanon and mental health family support groups. Today, you made a start by posting here. We get it. Hugs for your hurting heart. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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Well, here I am, almost at breaking point - son aged 30
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