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Well I am almost 44 & Just learning today....
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 138047" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Hey David, I used to be like you and then I learned the magic word "no" and I learned how to say and feel it without anger or resentment or feeling bad. </p><p> </p><p>I had to learn to value my time and realize that I can't be everything to everyone. I used to help my loco sister all the time, I can't even tell you how many times I picked up or drove her kids to their private schools but on a snow day when I asked if she could take my girls, she'd respond with, "Ohhhh, I'm going to have to take a pass"....Take a Pass?? WTH?</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, David, do you value your worth, your time? Out of the goodness of your heart, you feel good when you help someone. But after a while, you feel taken advantage of. It takes practice, but learn where that fine line is and do not cross it. Give, help, that's fine - but don't give so much of yourself that you can't help yourself. </p><p> </p><p>Fran's right about your mom and her new car - if she can't afford a new car, then she needs to come up with a plan that suits her financial situation. It's not up to you (or your brother) to provide her with a new car. With the money you would have donated to mom's car, go see a financial consultant to help you with your problem you've been waiting for your brother to help with. </p><p> </p><p>Incidentally, listing an ad for helpers for your brother is also not your job. He didn't ask you to do that. All you have to do is tell him there's been a change in plans and you will no longer be able to help him. Give him decent notice, however, because that's what you would expect from him. </p><p> </p><p>The thing is, by not giving too much of yourself you are taking care of you...Behave as you would like to be treated without being taken advantage of. </p><p> </p><p>Sending many gentle hugs~</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 138047, member: 2211"] Hey David, I used to be like you and then I learned the magic word "no" and I learned how to say and feel it without anger or resentment or feeling bad. I had to learn to value my time and realize that I can't be everything to everyone. I used to help my loco sister all the time, I can't even tell you how many times I picked up or drove her kids to their private schools but on a snow day when I asked if she could take my girls, she'd respond with, "Ohhhh, I'm going to have to take a pass"....Take a Pass?? WTH? Anyway, David, do you value your worth, your time? Out of the goodness of your heart, you feel good when you help someone. But after a while, you feel taken advantage of. It takes practice, but learn where that fine line is and do not cross it. Give, help, that's fine - but don't give so much of yourself that you can't help yourself. Fran's right about your mom and her new car - if she can't afford a new car, then she needs to come up with a plan that suits her financial situation. It's not up to you (or your brother) to provide her with a new car. With the money you would have donated to mom's car, go see a financial consultant to help you with your problem you've been waiting for your brother to help with. Incidentally, listing an ad for helpers for your brother is also not your job. He didn't ask you to do that. All you have to do is tell him there's been a change in plans and you will no longer be able to help him. Give him decent notice, however, because that's what you would expect from him. The thing is, by not giving too much of yourself you are taking care of you...Behave as you would like to be treated without being taken advantage of. Sending many gentle hugs~ [/QUOTE]
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Well I am almost 44 & Just learning today....
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