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Well, that didn't last long :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 635940" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Lil,</p><p></p><p>when my difficult child was at his therapeutic boarding school they used to use the term "sketchy". They were very clear that they didn't need to have proof of wrongdoing, they didn't need to engage in a "he said she said" argument, the kid in question didn't have the opportunity to lawyer talk/argue/tantrum their way out of anything...it was incumbent on the kids to keep their behavior above board, and they were called on anything "sketchy". Sketchy itself, meaning behavior that causes adults to even START to think about checking on the kid, was unacceptable. Sketchy is coming home from work later than expected without calling first. Sketchy is calling to come home late too often. Sketchy is being late for work and disrupting the household (he can be late to work and keep that problem to himself, slip out the door if you will...that is a reasonable expectation on your part. There is no reason that his being late should turn the household on its ear). Sketchy is going out at night and not coming home. Sketchy is what you say it is...no room for argument.</p><p></p><p>I found that very useful. </p><p></p><p>I never had to put difficult child out. He left home when he was 17 to live with the Occupy Movement, and has only been back for brief periods since. I'll correct that...I have had to ask/tell him to leave as the end of some of those visits, but it isn't the same as making them leave the first time. When I put him out he had the experience of living on the street or couch surfing, and as much as he didn't like it he still had some ability to figure it out.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying you should put difficult child out, but it is important to know somewhere in your mind that if his behavior is toxic to your household, you have the ability to put an end to that part of it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you, Lil, on this roller coaster.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 635940, member: 17269"] Lil, when my difficult child was at his therapeutic boarding school they used to use the term "sketchy". They were very clear that they didn't need to have proof of wrongdoing, they didn't need to engage in a "he said she said" argument, the kid in question didn't have the opportunity to lawyer talk/argue/tantrum their way out of anything...it was incumbent on the kids to keep their behavior above board, and they were called on anything "sketchy". Sketchy itself, meaning behavior that causes adults to even START to think about checking on the kid, was unacceptable. Sketchy is coming home from work later than expected without calling first. Sketchy is calling to come home late too often. Sketchy is being late for work and disrupting the household (he can be late to work and keep that problem to himself, slip out the door if you will...that is a reasonable expectation on your part. There is no reason that his being late should turn the household on its ear). Sketchy is going out at night and not coming home. Sketchy is what you say it is...no room for argument. I found that very useful. I never had to put difficult child out. He left home when he was 17 to live with the Occupy Movement, and has only been back for brief periods since. I'll correct that...I have had to ask/tell him to leave as the end of some of those visits, but it isn't the same as making them leave the first time. When I put him out he had the experience of living on the street or couch surfing, and as much as he didn't like it he still had some ability to figure it out. I'm not saying you should put difficult child out, but it is important to know somewhere in your mind that if his behavior is toxic to your household, you have the ability to put an end to that part of it. Good luck to you, Lil, on this roller coaster. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Well, that didn't last long :(
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