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Well, Well, Well...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 295919" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>WOW! So much has gone on lately. It seems husband is on the side of reality once again. I really hope and pray that your difficult child gets a good Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they can help him. Not much else is available that might help him.</p><p></p><p>Expect your husband to flipflop a few more times between now and when you actually pick up difficult child. If at all possible ride in another car. The risk of difficult child pulling on the steering wheel so that he won't have to go to court is huge. Also the risk of the two of them turning on you, saying it is all your fault, with-o you the neighbor and CPS ladies would ahve no clue, etc....</p><p></p><p>Make SURE you continue to tell your daughter to tell people - if she is abused again she needs to tell every adult in her life until they believe her. Make sure that she knows that it is OK to call you if you are not home (or you move out cause things go wrong) and to tell you, her teachers, every adult in her life except Daddy. Let her know that if Daddy wants her to keep it a secret then she needs to tell. If it is a fun secret like a birthday present she can keep it, but if it is a big secret about if someone hurt her or touched her in a bad place (anywhere a swimsuit would cover is the rule of thumb I use) then she MUST tell you, her teachers, the principal and/or guidance counselor at her school, etc....</p><p></p><p>I say this because your husband is a blamer and will be searching for someone to blame for what happens in court. Chances are high it will be you. After he drives you away (or if he sees he is driving you away and changes focus to his daughter) he is going to blame your stepdau. She MUST know how to protect herself and that you love her no matter what daddy says.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have a fun time in Orlando and then a safe trip home and safety until court on Mon. In court I hope htey send him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and take him away immediately.</p><p></p><p>Are you planning on going to court? Does husband want you to go?</p><p></p><p>Is husband still searching for who reported to DHS? He needs to be very careful and tread very lightly. In my state trying to find out who reported you, esp after you admitted to DHS that the report was truthful, can carry heavy penalties. It also holds a lifetime of having any and every report to DHS brought to you with police backing up the social worker. It is NOT a good experience. DHS and the police WANT people to make reports, so anyone who tries to keep a report from being made, or tries to intimidate someone who has made a report is in BIG trouble. It can make difficult child's trouble look mild.</p><p></p><p>If he finds the person they will report him too. So he should best just stay away from the entire situation.</p><p></p><p>hugs to you and your kids (including stepdau).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 295919, member: 1233"] WOW! So much has gone on lately. It seems husband is on the side of reality once again. I really hope and pray that your difficult child gets a good Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they can help him. Not much else is available that might help him. Expect your husband to flipflop a few more times between now and when you actually pick up difficult child. If at all possible ride in another car. The risk of difficult child pulling on the steering wheel so that he won't have to go to court is huge. Also the risk of the two of them turning on you, saying it is all your fault, with-o you the neighbor and CPS ladies would ahve no clue, etc.... Make SURE you continue to tell your daughter to tell people - if she is abused again she needs to tell every adult in her life until they believe her. Make sure that she knows that it is OK to call you if you are not home (or you move out cause things go wrong) and to tell you, her teachers, every adult in her life except Daddy. Let her know that if Daddy wants her to keep it a secret then she needs to tell. If it is a fun secret like a birthday present she can keep it, but if it is a big secret about if someone hurt her or touched her in a bad place (anywhere a swimsuit would cover is the rule of thumb I use) then she MUST tell you, her teachers, the principal and/or guidance counselor at her school, etc.... I say this because your husband is a blamer and will be searching for someone to blame for what happens in court. Chances are high it will be you. After he drives you away (or if he sees he is driving you away and changes focus to his daughter) he is going to blame your stepdau. She MUST know how to protect herself and that you love her no matter what daddy says. I hope you have a fun time in Orlando and then a safe trip home and safety until court on Mon. In court I hope htey send him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and take him away immediately. Are you planning on going to court? Does husband want you to go? Is husband still searching for who reported to DHS? He needs to be very careful and tread very lightly. In my state trying to find out who reported you, esp after you admitted to DHS that the report was truthful, can carry heavy penalties. It also holds a lifetime of having any and every report to DHS brought to you with police backing up the social worker. It is NOT a good experience. DHS and the police WANT people to make reports, so anyone who tries to keep a report from being made, or tries to intimidate someone who has made a report is in BIG trouble. It can make difficult child's trouble look mild. If he finds the person they will report him too. So he should best just stay away from the entire situation. hugs to you and your kids (including stepdau). [/QUOTE]
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