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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Went and did it to myself this time....
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 32690" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Mikey,</p><p></p><p>Reading your posts is particularly painful for me because my husband and I were SO where you are now about a year ago. Specifically, our admittedly ambivalent feelings about pot, related partially to the fact that WE smoked pot in our younger years but didn't go on to using stronger drugs. </p><p></p><p>But, really, for our son, it wasn't so much about pot but rather his mindset which was that the rules didn't apply to him. Then, it became ALL about getting high, and that's when he stole from us for the first time. </p><p></p><p>Two months before he was involved with a group of stoner friends who comitted a crime, we were advised by a psychotherapist to use "tough love." Like you, we didn't want to play what we felt was our last card by turning him in for being inebriated or stoned.</p><p></p><p>Then, it was too late, and we were all standing in front of a judge. And, I'll tell you, that was THE most awful moment in my and my husband's lives--having that judge judge US because he knew that we knew our son was using illegal marijuana and alcohol, and, in his eyes, we did NOTHING. He wasn't interested in our endless family contracts, rewards and consequence plans, sleepless nights, etc. He removed our son from our care based on our failure to control our child and placed him in a group home for behavior modification and drug and alcohol counseling. </p><p>Quite frankly, he felt that we had had our chance to help our son and blew it. </p><p></p><p>Tough love would have been so much less painful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 32690, member: 1835"] Mikey, Reading your posts is particularly painful for me because my husband and I were SO where you are now about a year ago. Specifically, our admittedly ambivalent feelings about pot, related partially to the fact that WE smoked pot in our younger years but didn't go on to using stronger drugs. But, really, for our son, it wasn't so much about pot but rather his mindset which was that the rules didn't apply to him. Then, it became ALL about getting high, and that's when he stole from us for the first time. Two months before he was involved with a group of stoner friends who comitted a crime, we were advised by a psychotherapist to use "tough love." Like you, we didn't want to play what we felt was our last card by turning him in for being inebriated or stoned. Then, it was too late, and we were all standing in front of a judge. And, I'll tell you, that was THE most awful moment in my and my husband's lives--having that judge judge US because he knew that we knew our son was using illegal marijuana and alcohol, and, in his eyes, we did NOTHING. He wasn't interested in our endless family contracts, rewards and consequence plans, sleepless nights, etc. He removed our son from our care based on our failure to control our child and placed him in a group home for behavior modification and drug and alcohol counseling. Quite frankly, he felt that we had had our chance to help our son and blew it. Tough love would have been so much less painful. [/QUOTE]
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Went and did it to myself this time....
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