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Went to Far Update 3...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680844" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This so pains me.</p><p></p><p>Because part of the reason I so suffer is because I hate so much of what my son has become. How he lives, his manipulation, lying, laziness. I feel very judgmental and I am not a judgmental person.</p><p></p><p>I do not want to accept that this person who he seems to be is him. I keep poking and poking trying to get him to respond from a place that feels realer. If I poke enough, he does seem to feel. But that is mean. I am being mean.</p><p></p><p>My son needs me. He needs and wants family and support. It is me, who has problems with this, because I do not want to accept how he is. I keep wanting him to change, even as much as I know this wanting is fruitless.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680844, member: 18958"] This so pains me. Because part of the reason I so suffer is because I hate so much of what my son has become. How he lives, his manipulation, lying, laziness. I feel very judgmental and I am not a judgmental person. I do not want to accept that this person who he seems to be is him. I keep poking and poking trying to get him to respond from a place that feels realer. If I poke enough, he does seem to feel. But that is mean. I am being mean. My son needs me. He needs and wants family and support. It is me, who has problems with this, because I do not want to accept how he is. I keep wanting him to change, even as much as I know this wanting is fruitless. COPA [/QUOTE]
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