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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 117402" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi All,</p><p>well,why don't I chime in here too? To confuse things even more, there is research that has shown that a person with Borderline (BPD) will benefit from more family involvement. I am in a support group for parents of kids with Borderline (BPD) and the moderator, who has written a well received book on the subject, says that greater involvement actually can lead to a better outcome for people with Borderline (BPD). However, she is clearly in favor of strong boundaries and not allowing any manipulative type behaviors. She has mastered Detachment herself while being able to give her dtr the support she needs.</p><p></p><p>I don't think my dtr has Borderline (BPD) but when I joined the support group she had every one of the criteria I think and it can be diagnosed in someone under 18 if the "symptoms" have been going on long enough. All the professionals said she had Borderline (BPD) traits. I think in her case she really did need to have the parental safety net removed--she would not step up to the plate until we did that.</p><p></p><p>I think Melissa sounds a lot like the kids of the parents in my support group so it wouldn't surprise me if she had Borderline (BPD). I am glad you are going to try to push her to independence, Sue. I agree with the others that it is time to let her lead an adult life. I know it is hard, I know you see her as fragile--that is how I saw my dtr. She has toughened up a lot since being on her own but it has been a roller coaster ride. She has a lot of pride in her ability to care for herself now though so it has been worth it. Good luck!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 117402, member: 3450"] Hi All, well,why don't I chime in here too? To confuse things even more, there is research that has shown that a person with Borderline (BPD) will benefit from more family involvement. I am in a support group for parents of kids with Borderline (BPD) and the moderator, who has written a well received book on the subject, says that greater involvement actually can lead to a better outcome for people with Borderline (BPD). However, she is clearly in favor of strong boundaries and not allowing any manipulative type behaviors. She has mastered Detachment herself while being able to give her dtr the support she needs. I don't think my dtr has Borderline (BPD) but when I joined the support group she had every one of the criteria I think and it can be diagnosed in someone under 18 if the "symptoms" have been going on long enough. All the professionals said she had Borderline (BPD) traits. I think in her case she really did need to have the parental safety net removed--she would not step up to the plate until we did that. I think Melissa sounds a lot like the kids of the parents in my support group so it wouldn't surprise me if she had Borderline (BPD). I am glad you are going to try to push her to independence, Sue. I agree with the others that it is time to let her lead an adult life. I know it is hard, I know you see her as fragile--that is how I saw my dtr. She has toughened up a lot since being on her own but it has been a roller coaster ride. She has a lot of pride in her ability to care for herself now though so it has been worth it. Good luck! Jane [/QUOTE]
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