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<blockquote data-quote="Sue C" data-source="post: 117990" data-attributes="member: 87"><p>Suz -- Awhile back, someone had said they thought Melissa might have Borderline (BPD) and so I read a book or two about it and checked it out on the internet. husband and I really feel she has it. She has 7 of the 9 DSM criteria. I think if she went in for an evaluation, she would be diagnosed with it but she says there is nothing wrong with her and won't go in. You are right in that Melissa has not learned coping skills because she has not been forced to. No, she has not slept on our bedroom floor since high school (I know that was outrageous); most nights she sleeps on the couch with the light and TV on (or in her bed with the light on). Yes, husband has been slipping her money even when I tell him he shouldn't. Hopefully, that is stopping! Yes, Melissa is extremely manipulating. husband and I will try hard to back off, as you suggest.</p><p></p><p>Jane -- You said: "I know it is hard, I know you see her as fragile--that is how I saw my dtr. She has toughened up a lot since being on her own but it has been a roller coaster ride. She has a lot of pride in her ability to care for herself now though so it has been worth it." I think you are right. I do see Melissa as fragile, and it is good to hear from you that your daughter toughened up and has pride in her ability to care for herself. I will look forward to that in Melissa.</p><p></p><p>Janet -- You said: "Parental involvement is great...parental smothering and controlling is not." Thanks for that explanation. As far as the symptoms you list in the 4 categories, Melissa has all but 1 in the Affect category; all but 1 in Cognition; all but 2 in Impulse Action Patterns; and all but 3 in Interpersonal Relationships. Was that information from a book and if so, could you please give me the name of it? Thanks.</p><p></p><p>sue</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sue C, post: 117990, member: 87"] Suz -- Awhile back, someone had said they thought Melissa might have Borderline (BPD) and so I read a book or two about it and checked it out on the internet. husband and I really feel she has it. She has 7 of the 9 DSM criteria. I think if she went in for an evaluation, she would be diagnosed with it but she says there is nothing wrong with her and won't go in. You are right in that Melissa has not learned coping skills because she has not been forced to. No, she has not slept on our bedroom floor since high school (I know that was outrageous); most nights she sleeps on the couch with the light and TV on (or in her bed with the light on). Yes, husband has been slipping her money even when I tell him he shouldn't. Hopefully, that is stopping! Yes, Melissa is extremely manipulating. husband and I will try hard to back off, as you suggest. Jane -- You said: "I know it is hard, I know you see her as fragile--that is how I saw my dtr. She has toughened up a lot since being on her own but it has been a roller coaster ride. She has a lot of pride in her ability to care for herself now though so it has been worth it." I think you are right. I do see Melissa as fragile, and it is good to hear from you that your daughter toughened up and has pride in her ability to care for herself. I will look forward to that in Melissa. Janet -- You said: "Parental involvement is great...parental smothering and controlling is not." Thanks for that explanation. As far as the symptoms you list in the 4 categories, Melissa has all but 1 in the Affect category; all but 1 in Cognition; all but 2 in Impulse Action Patterns; and all but 3 in Interpersonal Relationships. Was that information from a book and if so, could you please give me the name of it? Thanks. sue [/QUOTE]
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