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The Watercooler
What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642209" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RE, I'm starting to believe that just like the onus of living a fruitful happy, productive and independent life is on the shoulders of our difficult children (not us), I am also starting to believe that the onus of protecting ourselves from abusers, even if they are our grown children, is on us too. Only WE can protect us from those we know darn well will harm us either emotionally, financially or physically and only we can take ourselves out of the situations by either distance, low contact, or no contact (depending on how dire the circumstances are).</p><p></p><p>If I continued to accept my father's abuse then I deserved to hear it since I have the power within me to decide not to hear it anymore. And I hope this has happened. Setting boundaries doesn't always come with painlessness to us, at least at first, but I'm convinced that most people who tear their hearts away from abusive people of any stripes are happier that they did it after time heals the pain of losing that person in their life.</p><p></p><p>I could be wrong. It has always been that way for me though. I am learning something else. I am not that unique an individual that nobody else is like I am. There are others who decide to remain distant with abusers who are also very happy in their lives now that they did it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642209, member: 1550"] RE, I'm starting to believe that just like the onus of living a fruitful happy, productive and independent life is on the shoulders of our difficult children (not us), I am also starting to believe that the onus of protecting ourselves from abusers, even if they are our grown children, is on us too. Only WE can protect us from those we know darn well will harm us either emotionally, financially or physically and only we can take ourselves out of the situations by either distance, low contact, or no contact (depending on how dire the circumstances are). If I continued to accept my father's abuse then I deserved to hear it since I have the power within me to decide not to hear it anymore. And I hope this has happened. Setting boundaries doesn't always come with painlessness to us, at least at first, but I'm convinced that most people who tear their hearts away from abusive people of any stripes are happier that they did it after time heals the pain of losing that person in their life. I could be wrong. It has always been that way for me though. I am learning something else. I am not that unique an individual that nobody else is like I am. There are others who decide to remain distant with abusers who are also very happy in their lives now that they did it. [/QUOTE]
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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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